baked.

dried cranberries?
...delicious.
craisins?
...unacceptable nomenclature.
dried cranberries sounds like something i'd eat.
craisins?
well,
that sounds more like
craven, crazy raisins.
which they are definitely NOT.
and, moreover,
that sounds like that which i do not want in my mouth.
sane raisins are hard enough to swallow, y'know?
mostly,
because they used to be grapes.
(of wrath, ninjas)
actually,
dried grapes somehow sounds more
disgusting than raisins does, though.
the lack of moisture warrants a name change, i guess.
***********
i doo-doo that bakery fresh sh!t.
no, for real, though:

a bucket of treats!

Rock Bloxxx.

for your face.

more than four dozen boulders of oven-fresh flav'.

maple-oat chocolate chip coconut cranberry cookies!

bangin'.

the only potential improvement?

orange zest.

that would've brought 'em to eleven.

or maybe some marzipan.

that's elevenish, too.

but i was just too busy chatty-batty smalltalking

to consider the optional ingredients.

peoples are important.

my peoples are very important.

v.i.p.'s an that.

i talked to half of my homeboys yesterday,

for molto minutes each.

so blame them for the lack of citrus/almond add-ins.

***********

today is a garment gathering day.

i need some fresh treads for my trip to mpls.

i was thinking about just throwing some

carhartts and a dollar-store blouse on,

but then i might just be accused of being a copycat.

besides,

fresh threads are a must for the discriminating,

sophisticated fancypants battle bard on tour.

you want to look your best whilst yelling out loud

about buttholes and barbarian b!tchbaggery.

classy is as classy does.

i know the clothes don't make the man,

but every girl is craisin 'bout a sharp dressed man.

lookin' sharp is necessary.

it matches my wit and tongue.

that's a coordinated outfit;

never quiet, never soft.....