heroics.

what do y'all know about cape buffalo?
they live in africa,
and they keep it really real.
here's pretty much the only facts you need:
they're huge.
they're totally butt-nasty mean.
they flip out regularly.
they wreck sh!t all day.
...yeah
duders,
they also kill the ever-lovin' mess out of hunters.
all the time!
lions, hyenas, cheetas, people, crocodiles, everybody.
i mean,
c'mon,
getting your A*hole stepped on by posse of cows?
so preposterously mutha-F*n' dope.
they gang up on suckas who want to mess with their faces.
that's for serious.
rescue missions against predators?!
they've killed more human hunters than anything else.
and that's usually after it's been shot.
if only holsteins had that kind of hot fire.
burgers'd be right off the menu, y'heard?
just another 'nother example of ugly-type folks
being dope.
on the real,
cape buffalo are really not sexy looking.
but they are so berserker!
battle-beasts like a sunovagun.
i'm kind of all about 'em.
who's ready to go with me to the motherland?
yep.
i think i've found my true calling.
jolly rancher.
undomesticated monster barbarian bovids,
imported to the woodsly goodness.
think about it, ninjas;
we need 'em as mounts.
for riding.
into battle.
c'mon. c'mon. C'MON.
we'll even wear capes.
like superheroes,
and,
for the irony.
you get it.
and you like it.
***********
we saw alice in wonderland.
elsah took us out to the movies, which was super-nice,
and we got free passes to another other movie
when the film reel broke mid-feature.
...relax,
we still saw the ending.
all told,
comparing and contrasting the effects against the story,
it was pretty good-
despite being a sequel of sorts,
and featuring a whole bunch of half-dopeness.
there were swords.
including the vorpal blade. (+11 vs. jabberwockies)
and chopping.
and armor.
and monsters.
and that's pretty much all i really need in a movie.
and since that's pretty much all i got,
i figure it was a darned good evening after all.
***********
so, anyway,
cape buffs, kids.
they only like each other,
and even then,
the fellas mostly smash their heads together.
all the time.
except when other stuff tries to step up to the whole herd.
you can't play with my capes like that.
they don't leave anyone behind.
no old ones,
no stray calves,
none of that.
unless you already got ate the F* up,
and then they exact vengeance.
charles bronson, hard-lookin', get-even sh!t.
that's word.
the whole mob will hand out a b-beat-down
to anyone or anything that deserves it.
up in your pampas grass with crews,
on that 'never forgive' business.
that's worthy viking fury hard-style action.
nature wins, my ninjas.
be ugly.
be dope;
never quiet, never soft.....