check the teleport.

the clock in my mutha-b!tchin' kitchen
reads 9:29 a.m.
but dang, kids,
it sure as heck still FEELS like 8:29.
yep.
we're saving daylight,
sorta like private ryan.
(i think that means we all die in the end.)
send in the special forces an' that.
which is to say,
worthy warrior poets,
taking no prisoners behind enemy timelines.
we're rushing headlong toward the ides of march,
taking a bayonet's worth of before
and plunging our attacks into this new after.
we're in the future, suddenly-
time travel sans flux capacitor-
as simple and easy as waking up and rolling over.
we're on a frontline offensive against the darkness,
i guess;
and when i'm driving home in the not-nighttime later on,
i'll really be waging a one-man campaign against the
deepening shadows of time at day's end.
that's some sh!t, huh?
happily,
this missing hour of ours means we're ahead of ourselves.
it's all still really happening,
just before it would've happened at the same time yesterday.
right?
my past won't catch up with me until
i'm knees-deep into autumn.
so i've got time to make some magic happen, for sure.
my first order of business?
i want a recorder.
no.
not a video or an audio recorder,
not a dvdr, or whatever.
a recorder recorder.
a hot cross buns,
fruit-flute salute,
third grade concert-type recorder.
y'know,
another 'nother annoying noisebringer-maker,
so my full complement of cacophonous calamity
can serenade the sprits of the woodsly goodness.
we ALL need more of that, i'm sure....
***********
oh,
yeah;
all y'all fools out there better be getting ready...
because on the first of april,
i'll be in minneapolis, minnesota.
the louderhorn inn will have it's least-loved loafer
lounging in the guest room for a week.
and identity tattoo will have 200% too much
east coast amplification in one building for the same duration.
the volume will be permanently pegged at eleven.
yes, indeed.
will there be shark gluttony?
yes.
how about arthur-making hottness?
of course.
did somebody say tatblasting?
i hope so.
what about some never quiet, never soft projects?
absolutely.
and hanging out with my expanding host of homeboys?
that's MAN time-type sh!t like a mutha-b!tch.
it will be good.
it always is.
lightning-striking viking battle-beastly berserking.
we'll be showing those scant scandinavian scamps
exactly how we doo-doo that freaky sh!t.
loud and hard.
make arrangements,
you will NOT want to miss out.
man,
this future really is brighter;
never quiet, never soft.....