garden party.

uhhh,
that's what SHE said?
poppin' poppies an' that.
business time?
every time.
busy busy busy.
shoveling stuff,
and scoopling stuff,
and going over to every other 'nother garden center in the county.
mulch. water. dig. plant. mulch. water.
it seems that dirt under the fingernails,
and grass under the toes is good for you.
i think so, anyway.
we found irises hiding in the backyard.
in the woods, beside the compost.
patiently waiting to be discovered and relocated to the front yardsliness:

we doo-doo that horticultured transplantation sh!t, y'all.
we discovered low bush native blueberries
ripening by the thousands back there too.
y'know what else?
razzle-dazzleberries, ninjas!
looks like nature is winning again.
no contest.
***********
okay duders,
let's talk a second about black flies.
most are the size of a black pepper speck,
with 99% of their body made out of insect teeth.
black flies.
i'm sayin'.
black flies are the legendary north woods scourge.
there are a whole bunch of different species of biting flies.
and they all live in new hampshire.
they help keep the tourists out of all the good spots.
also,
they all want to bite my bodyparts,
all my tenderoni skin spots,
and of course,
almost most of all,
my flippin' face.
oh man.
they are so NOT invited to my french-style kissing party.
no joke,
i look like i've been beaten severely.
lumpy bumps all over my body.
and they're red, inflamed, and furious, too.
bug bites, b!tches.
so hard.
have you ever seen a bullet punch for cigars?
a sharp piercing-needle tube of terror, yeah?
that's what happens to your soft bits.
a pokey stab scoop disappears into their pointy mouth-holes.
i hate 'em,
but i also kind of love 'em.
nature wins, like i said.
if you listen closely,
you can hear those little black monsters chewing.
it's true.
and disgusting;
never quiet, never soft.....