write about what you know.

i know, my ninjas,
i know i know.
now act like you know, too.
somebody knew.
they knew i needed this in my life:

and i DO, duders.
believe me, i doo-doo need this freaky-diki dopeness.
c'mon.
it's pretty much the freshest business in the whole world.
a whole book.
a whole big book.
a whole big BIG book.
...of butts.
the big butt book.
y'know?
guess what it's about.
g'head, guess.
...yeah.
it IS about butts.
nice.
mutha-b!tches, y'all better recognize,
this may be the single most important piece
of real-life documentation ever to grace the inside of the fortress.
three-hundred-seventy-some-odd pages, too.
so no joking about the 'big' part, that's for sure.
dian hanson, whoever you are, wherever you're at:
thanks.
all good things.
the best part?
the transparent hard plastic dust jacket.
why?
because it has those underpants printed on.
underneath 'em, it's all just acres of immodesty.
no dust flap,
all mud flaps.
awwwww, man.
it's true, too.
that's the first case of intelligent design i've ever heard of.
***********
tonight is a banjo-pickin' bluegrass night.
seriously.
the 'theater in the woods' is hosting
our very good buddy casey's dad, peter,
and his finger-lickin', boot-stomping,
post-country hootenanny hoedown tonight.
butts in the mornin',
tatzaps in the noontimes,
banjo in the night?
today is the day, my ninjas.
just like every day.
it's all always really happening;
never quiet, never soft.....