hunkering down, bunkering in.

neighbors,
i got home late.
why, and where was i?
i'll tell you-
i had to go-go-go to the store,
and make sure we had the necessary components
for a hurricane survival escapade.
bread, milk, whatever, an' that,.
that's what wasn't on the list, y'all.
we have important concerns over here
beyond the bulk-bought bushels of staple food we stockpile.
i had to go to the store to insure happy night-times.
huh?
no,
naughty-pants.
not that.
i had to get treats!
i've got packs and packs of snacks, kids.
it's true.
snacks are a must in this house.
the wifey can't go more than a mini-minute without
shoving shovelfuls of treats into her mouth.
it's real.
she's an elite snack-destroying, salty treat-seeking mrs.
and she needs to have the savory favorites for her face.
without 'em,
oh man, there's trouble in paradise,
and even worse trouble in the woodsly goodness.
snacks are what keep me safe.
no snacks, no peace.
word up.
so,
in the interests of marital bliss,
and physical safety,
it's snack time.
i may eventually be murdered in my bed,
but it won't be tonight.
or at least it won't be tonight by my wifey's own hand,
but possibly by her negligence.
snack-bomb comatose sleep is the sleep of oblivion, kids.
i guess we'll see what happens...
***********
there are stocks of all the comestibles,
but there's one thing i'm running out of:
duders,
i'm eating my nerd book rations too quickly.
serious.
my head is filled with wizards and warlocks,
spellcasters, sorcerers, mages, arcanists,
summoners, multiple 'mancers, and magicians.
no joke, my ninjas.
it's high nerd season at summer's end,
and the Fortress is beseiged by page-eating
superdork word-devouring gluttony.
bookworms, b!tches,
are only half as hungry as your homeboy in the hills.
i stayed up until the break-a-break of dawn,
gnoshing down a novel of narniaesque-extrapolation,
and immediately when i woke up just a baby nap later,
i got poppin' on some forgotten realms.
i remembered.
oh, c'mon.
now,
tonight,
to take a break from reading all
about barbarians and battle-beasts,
we're gonna get hawaiian-style on some late night sh!t.
the other conan, friends.
the one with the sword chops and skull-crush kicks an' all that.
yuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
the sword never sleeps;
never quiet, never soft.....