look at this big-headed weirdie:
watching me stack wood.
we moved him a couple times,
as our logs got higher and farther and deeper an' that.
he's still there now.
i'm only showing y'all his adorable segments, neighbors,
because he helps dilute the disgusting horror
you're about to check, via teleport:
welcome to my nightmares, ninjas.
that mean mama-jama is munching a locust
the size of my thumb.
and my thumb is flippin' huuuuge.
gross-out explosion, kids.
seriously.
i will spray a sphere of vomit and panic out of my whole head.
and then punch myself unconcious,
over and over and over.
i just can't hang out....at ALL, y'all.
huh?
yeah,
it does get worse:
she's the exact same F*ing size, b!tches.
they're everywhere under our eaves.
eating,
and growing,
and eating,
and spinning,
and catching,
and horrifying.
i am honestly considering sh!tting my pants,
just to get the feeling of sh!tting my pants
over with.
that's my instinctive reaction.
what?
yeah,
there are about a billion wood/wolf/jumping/brown
and hairy, scary, and totally awful, massive monsters
in all their eight-legged splendor,
all up and over the newly delivered wood.
ugh, ugh, UGH!
we inherited a whole subspecies of disaster.
in fact,
i'm gonna get in the shower,
and scrub away the day,
with slapping at imaginary arachnids in my beard.
goosebumps, duders.
i've got 'em,
and it's honestly like eighty degrees outside.
groooooooooooooooooooooosssssss.
pants-sh!t, suckas;
never quiet, never soft.....
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