pounding.

hahahaha.
that's right mutha-lickers,
i'm reppin' hard-style nerd-type jauns.
as loud and hard as i flippin' can, even.
i may put the gay in gamer,
i may even put the drag in dragon,
i may even take a whizz on wizardry,
but i've also got some serious high-rolling capabilities.
huh?
i'm talking about calculating damage, b!tches.
so,
who's coming over to rep some THAC0?
if you don't know,
you're definitely not invited.
oh, wait,
you don't know what i'm representing on?
awwwwwww, man
you were probably popular in your youth, huh?
well,
while you were out getting lame with your lameness,
authentic imaginarians were going questing like what!...
don't be confused, neighbors,
it would make a whole lot more sense
if you'd just check the teleport:

boo-YA.
critical hits like a mean mutha-uckin' ninja, y'all.
how you gonna put a 'buy it now' button next to
something as exquisitely hot and tempting
as a pre-packaged POUND of polyhedral role-playing dice,
and expect a really real dungeon m-F*ing  master
not to scoople up some left-clickety-clack action??
exactly.
that'd never happen.
so now THIS is happening.
it all really is, kids.
treats, special delivery, for my face.
an ounce of prevention pales in comparison
to a solid sixteen times the hottness.
look close,
they're all maxed out to their optimal valuation.
critical, son, y'heard?
i'm on that double-damage jauns.
yuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
never mind the overused urban catchphrase, duders-
this is how i roll:
often, and in copious amounts.
wooooooooooooord.
the moon may be waning,
but the dungeons and the dragons are waxing.
it's adventurer time, nerds;
never quiet, never soft.....