a double- dose of dope.

today is the day, kids.
chinese new year,
right now for your fire-breathing spit hot face!!
enter the dragon, mutha-b!tches.
yeah!
i always thought that i was born in the year of the
flamethrowing free-flowing serpentine magic monster,
for real, and for lots and lots of years.
right up until i paid a little teeny tiny bit more attention
to when the actual novo anno hits in china,
versus when us wild westerners ring in the big action.
and now,
being thirty-six, and having wrapped-up the full
restaurant menu zodiac wheel three times in a row,
i know a bit more, and none of it makes me feel any better.
awwwwwwwwwww, man.
it's not until late january that the ramen noodoo duders
flip the page and change the sign.
so what?
so that means no dragon activation for this guy, y'all.
i'm a bunny, neighbors.
a hippity-hopping fuzzy cottontailed bunny.
not a demonic hybrid of divine might
and sorcerous mythology,
but a buck-toothed, twitchy-nosed lagomorph.
it totally figures i'd even catch
the 'buttery end of the calendar, huh?
word up.
anyway,
happy year 4710, or something like that, i guess.
i'm not celebrating,
but sort of appropriately,
i am eating carrots.
***********
john moses browning.
today's his berfday.
not that his draconic heinie will be celebrating much,
since he's been well dead for 86 years now.
still,
he's the best thing to ever come out of utah,
and that's a fact.
do you know him?
maybe not, but you should-
he invented all kinds of hottness.
lead-pumping battle-blasters from what was previously
the future, and could be considered by some to be the past,
but is inevitably still being used in the present.
now that's some sh!t, kids.
and i am celebrating that.
no.
the carrots aren't invited,
but i may wear a brace of 1911 pistols to bed.
i'm like that.
hot fire spit,
and cold, icy sh!t.
that's what's going on;
never quiet, never soft.....