Thursday, April 23

mucho mucho mas.

the WHOLE enchilada, neighbors.
...and then a whole other 'nother whole enchilada-
yup!
i only have one day a week to get especially involved in cooking,
so i make the most of it,
and i do all the ins and outs of it all the way to eleven.
that's real.
like,
how many salsas did i make, from scratch?
oh, y'know, just three or four-
depending on whether you count guacamole as a salsa or not.
because i OBVIOUSLY made guacamole, dudes.
c'mon.
what am i?
an A*-hole?
no way.
and my guac' is officially the most guapo.
(yeah, that's right, i know you only love me for my guapery)
anyway,
i flame-broiled a whole bunch of different kinds of red, orange,
and purple heirloom cherry tomatoes,
and added those little F*ers into a confit of carrot and red onion,
and tossed in some big garlic chunks, and thick-cut poblano pepper,
and fire-roasted chilis, and roughly chopped sweet onion-
and i simmered that heap of hottness forever and ever,
with black pepper and g.p.o.p. and oregano and basil and coriander
and cilantro and toasted celery seed and bay leaf.
once all that good stuff was slowly juiced-up and melded together
in a royal rumble of color and flavor, i turned up the heat, on the stove,
and i turned up the heat in the sauce, too,
because i added some paprika and red pepper flakes to give it a bit less brown,
and a splash more rojo whilst getting the juices extra piping hot and slippery.
ummmmm, yeah.
that's word.
guys,
you wanna see what i'm speaking on?
you DO?!
well, that's great news,
because i've got a teleport waiting to be checked:
wooot-wooot!!
...those enchiladas are flippin' legen-worthy wraps of warrior poetry in action.
really.
i whipped up some rinotta-be-kidding-me-style underchee',
and spread it down thick.
i made my custom refried beans-
with vidalia onion, g.p.o.p., nootch, ho' sauce, and cilantro,
and i slathered a slap of heavy pulped pinto bean activation in there. too.
but,
that's not all i did.
early in the morning,
when i was blending all my underchee' 'gredients into one masterpiece,
i was also kneading and boiling and getting pretty expert
with a fresh new batch of seitan steaks.
what?
yeah.
i know, i'm an overachiever-
but i needed it, y'all.
why?
for strips of seitan asada,
with caramelized white onion and minced poblano pepper,
finished with coarse black pepper, and lime juice!
am i serious?
you bet.
the soft flour taco-sized tortillas got topped with scallions and cilantro,
then rolled up and stacked tight in a brownie pan.
ohhhhhhhhhhhh maaaaaaaaaaan.
you know what happens next?
gravy.
a simple roux and broth sauce,
poured over and in-between those tasty tubes.
i covered the whole pan with foil, and fired it in the firebox
so they'd steam from the bottom up in that ovenly goodness.
after about twenty minutes,
i took 'em out, hit 'em up with some of that enchilada sauce,
and threw their little butts back in for another ten or so minutes.
and served them with even MORE sauce.
that's right-
too much is the right amount,
and i was reppin' that sentiment exxxtra hard all day.
did i make my famous salsa fresca?
i did, and i laid it out on top of some more pan-fried seitan.
and those black beans?
with the tiny tofu cubes?
and the shallot rings?
yes, indeed, friends, i made a scrambled jumble of black hash hottness,
with a spicy chili garlic paste marinade,
and i even topped it with chunky homemade salsa verde.
uh-huh.
tomatillos, fire-roasted chilis, jalapeno, green bell, and poblano peppers,
garlic and more garlic, sweet onions, cilantro, scallions, lime, bay leaf,
and a splash of agave.
so expert.
cooked until the tomatillos get all wrinkly and soft.
then i hucked half of it, bay leafs included, into the blender,
so i had some of that sexxy smooth puree,
which helped the whole sauce simmer down even a little bit more.
i'm so excited about this sh!t.
i LOVE food.
why else would i spend a whole day in front of the stove,
instead of raking leaves or doing chores?
oh, right, because that stuff eats balls,
and food is dope!
ha.
friends,
i even baked those corn tortilla chips while the enchiladas were cookin'.
damn.
i made so much of all of this stuff.
and i ate every last morsel on that plate.
mmmmhmmmm.
i know the rules.
and i know what's good.
***********
i spanned my day off wisely, as far as i can tell.
there was baking, and stewing, and simmering, and sauteeing,
and all of it was working towards one tremendous payout at suppertime.
plus,
i've got extras of almost everything,
which means lunch is gonna be molto loud, fresh, and hard today.
sure,
there's regular work to be done,
and regular chores to be carried out,
and regular life to be lived....
but i'm powered by radical vegan eats,
and that means that i'm going to have an exceptional day.
it's all really happening,
and it takes as long as it has to to be dope-
everything else can F* right off;
never quiet, never soft.....

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