the best!

pizza.
pizza.
pizza.
PIZZA.
pee eye zee zee ayyyy.
yeah!!!!
neighbors,
i F*ing loooooove pizza.
the most.
it's the best, and my most favoritest,
and i want a lot of it every time i have it.
(and i always want to have it)
i even had some two days ago at the flatbread spot in town,
and all that did for me was whet my appetite for some
really really real-real jauns over at my Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
mmmhmmmm.
because when i want the super-elitest expert slices,
i know it's gonna be up to me to make it happen.
and i doo-doo that freaky sh!t, kids.
check the pizza-party-type teleport:

kaBOOMfire!
i mean, c'mon-
i made three extra-tasty crisp-edged soft-centered baked ball-out big-action
sourdough circles of supreme pizza pie party-time sparkle magic for my mouth.
yup.
one is good, two is better,
but three?
three is jusssssssst right.
that's that magic numberwang!
but, like,
let me tell y'all all about how activated my evening's edible event was....
first up, check the teleport:

baby kale, baby chard, arugala, caramelized onions, and cubed seitan.
with underchee', daiya(rrhea) overchee', and crushed tomatoes, too.
so dope.
and then, once the pizza game was underway?
i really got it going full force,
and cooked up a little somethin' somethin' for the serious 'za enthusiast.
teleport:

brussels sprouts, baconesque bits, and onions,
with tons of that over and under,
and those saucy 'matoes, as well.
then,
we were feeling molto full.
that's a terrific indication that there need to be MORE, y'know?
yes.
too much is the right amount.
that's a thing.
if you didn't know, you're welcome,
and if you already knew,
well, get on my level, duders.
it goes to eleven, at all times.
check the teleport:

bam!
a bright and sunshiny pizza coming directly at your face.
mushrooms!
heirloom mini tomatoes!!
grilled leeks!!!
baconish bits, and onions, and couple of bits of seitan,
and all that over and underchee' action,
plus one last slap of sauce, for good measure.
for the record,
you always end with a grand finale.
otherwise,
you won't feel overstuffed and overfull and totally destroyed
by the proper dosage of a good thing.
uh-huh.
too much of a good thing is F*ing terrific.
that's no joke.
if you don't like pizza,
there's a 100% chance that you are a total A*-hole.
no discussions,
no appeals.
it's been decreed.
that's wordimus prime.
***********
i'm full of pizza,
and that's nice.
i'm full of sh!t,
which doesn't bother me so much...
i assume i must be full of it,
since i talk so much sh!t every single day.
right?
sound logic produces sound conclusions, i think.
if only i wasn't also telling the honest-to-goodness and unbearably bad-newsy
true stories of a real life in words and deeds.
yikes.
if your sh!t-talk is truth, it's likely your life is also kind of sh!tty.
awwwwwwwwwwww.
(it can't be al bad when there's pizza, so take it easy)
but,
i've also found that all of this sh!t-talking is, by and large,
underappreciated by the recipients of those conversational skidmarks.
what i mean is-
i'm certainly not making any friends,
even though i'm making enough food for everybody.
i tell the truth, and believe me,
it hurts me more than it hurts you.
i'd rather give out a sound thrashing with claws and jaws,
since that's a one-directional dispensation of damage.
yet,
here we are, no punches, just punchlines,
and a measurably large amount of shared discomfort.
that's what i've got,
and that's what we get.
it's all really happening,
even when we'd rather it wasn't.
--truth tellers can never stop;
never quiet, never soft.....