ugly but cute.

if i've still gotta be ugly,
then i'm gonna have to do cute stuff.
that's the only way.
i'm just sayin',
nobody ever cares about ugly people doing lame ugly things.
with that in mind,
when i'm making my dinner plans,
i'm putting out some attempts at adorable ideas,
and trying to conjure up a few sighs of happiness,
and maybe an awwwwwwwww or two, too.
neighbors,
i'm on some serious food lover evenings of excellence these days,.
and i'm definitely taking it to eleven,
and that's with or without falafels on the menu.
real talk.
last night was absolutely no exception, either.
what was the happenings?
super-elite gravy-laced everything, that's what.
can i be more specific?
of course i can:
i started with roughly sliced mushrooms, browned up in vegany butteryness,
and fired into a big ol' bowl with nootch and g.p.o.p.,
and thyme, sage, basil, oregano, celery seeds, caraway seeds,
salt and black pepper.
mmmmmmmm.
i seared up some shredded cabbage in red and green,
and sauteed that together with crushed-up carrots and celery.
when that softened up, it went right in the bowl with those 'shrooms.
then it was time to blacken some leeks, and add in some brussels sprouts,
braise 'em in malt vinegar,
and brown 'em in that butter.
what happened next?
into the bowl with 'em. obvi.
that's just a pile of wilted vegetation and spices on it's own,
and that's not enough, is it?
nope.
so,
in order to make the whole thing expert,
and endearing,
i blasted out a batch of buttery biscuit dough,
lined some mini-pie-pans up in a row,
and cut out circle after circle of biscuity goodness as cups of crust
for all those tasty veggies.
yuuuuuuuuuuup.
check the teleport:

awwwwwwwwwwwwww.
neighbors,
it's a mutha-'ucking biscuit torte!!!
but, seriously, you like it, don't you?
that's right.
i mean, after all,
how sweet is that little crispy biscuit star?
yeah!
and i placed a few scallion sprankles on top of every one!
little flavorful extra awesomeness is essential to being expert.
so are side dishes, duders.
red onion and brown broth marinated braised tofu is dope.
like,
real dope.
not mushy, and not boring, but totally flavorful, and firm as F*.
and those golden butter-baked roasted baby red potatoes were SO soft,
and so crispy,
and so richly deserving of that gravy.
and that gravy, guys.
a little custom roux, some broth, a little nootch,
a pinch of cornstarch,
a lot of g.p.o.p.,
and plenty of seasonings,
all rich and thick and luscious,
like a fat volcano's greasy lavaflow.
um.
or not,
the gray was dope, though kids, anyway.
all on one plate,
it's a warm and hearty dose of active participation from my kitchen
to the waiting mouth of my only visitor.
uh-huh.
i make a lot of fancy stuff,
and i rarely share it with anybody.
that's the thing, isn't it?
just be dope, or F* right off
doesn't account for an audience, now does it?
i do what i do with or without guests.
i s'pose that says a lot about adhering to the prime directive after all;
never quiet, never soft.....