GongBaoDouFu.

ha!
neighbors,
i made a small sandwich,
and then i remembered that too much is the right amount,
....so i ate two of them.
ha.
i mean it, though.
and also,
the sandwich was small for a few reasons,
one,
because i had these especially sexy crusty rolls from the local bakery,
two,
because it's a vietnamese name i could make an english joke out of,
which i couldn't resist, as my smarmy cleverness gets the best of me most days,
and lastly,
because i also made a bunch of other other 'nother stuff to munch up on, too.
yeah.
so my banh mi became a banh mini,
and his little broski became a banh mini-mi.
good thing i made two, huh?
i can always use twice as many puns.
anyway, guys,
check the teleport,
and then we'll get into some details:

kung-kaPOW!
those sandwiches are my new best friends.
SIKE.
they're being turned into nutrients and sh!t,
deep within the plant-based recycling plant in my pants.
that's real.
but,
those sandwiches were worthy of thuan thien-
(that's the vietnamese excalibur, kids)
what's in there that makes them so good?
everything.
a crescendo of crisp veggies and warm proteins and crusty bread,
with spicy and tangy tastes hiding in the cut, waiting to rock your flippin' face off.
i started with a base layer of baby cucumber,
and topped that with half a block of cornstarch-and-g.p.o.p.-coated baked tofu,
sliced up into catch-wreck-tangles,
(i baked them first because i used regular firm tofu,
and wanted a bit more of a toothsome and stronger bite-
besides, i fried 'em up before serving to reactivate all the tastiness)
plus,
instead of pate, which is F*ing horrifyingly gross,
i made a quick home-style vegan roast with the other half of the tofu,
plus a few tablespoons of leftover black beans,
a cup-ish of wheat gluten,
a LOT of garlic,
bouillon, liquid smoke, paprika, g.p.o.p. (obvi), black pepper,
tapioca, and a little soy sauce.
baked in advance, then sliced up and pan-fried to reheat it a bit,
and before you can say wordimus prime?
mmhmm.
now we're living in the future.
a good banh mi has toasted bread, and i do mine in a pan,
(it keeps the outer crust softer, and more big-biteable)
with vegenaise, and sriracha, and cilantro sprankles,
and thin jalapeno slices, and of course,
that vietnamese quick-pickle jauns.
yeah!
vinegar, and agave, and a pinch of salt, and hot water, and daikon and carrot,
and a little thought-out and planned-for timespan-
i think you really only need twenty minutes, but i gave mine hours to really get rad.
friends,
i doo-doo that banh'ing banh mi sh!t.
even when it's tiny. it goes to eleven.
-
the bigger big action, however,
is that gong bao in the middle of the plate.
damn, duders.
it's good.
like, stoopid crazy dumb good, which is better than smart good by a mile or so.
first, i cornstarched my tiny tofu cubes, freshly hewn from a block of exxxtra-firmness,
and ginger and g.p.o.p.'d 'em,
before i browned the whole batch up, and set it aside for a bit.
then i twice-fried some peanuts-
that's roasted unsalted goobs, flash fried in oil, reviving all that heavenly hottness,
and then again, with the rest of the ingredients,
they get another 'nother dose of that hot hot pan.
and in that pan i had sweet red pepper, the whites of a bunch of green onions, a shallot,
and three large cloves of roughly chopped garlic, all blistering up on medium high heat.
and once that was feeling pretty hot, i added two types of chilis, red and green,
and the tofu, and the peanuts,
and turned the heat up a little bit,
before i blasted the whole skillet with a batch of powerful sauce.
soy sauce, rice wine, a splish of balsamic vinegar, (really), brown sugar,
ginger, three MORE cloves of garlic, a dash of cayenne, a drizz' of ho' sauce,
a touch of toasted sesame oil, and black pepper,
plus a pinch of cornstarch to make it thick quickly,
because wet and sloppy is great sometimes,
but not in my gung bao.
that thickened up in a flash,
so it was set-up and ready for the finishing moves.
we made it expert with the greens of those scallions,
shredded basil, cilantro, and some mung bean sprouts.
i could've just served a bowl of that by it's lonesome, and had an amazing supper,
but that's not how i get frisky with my foodstuffs on my only day away from the studio.
nope.
i wilted some baby bok choi, and hit it up with just a b!tchslappy sip of bragg's tamari,
which let it super buttery, and perfectly salty,
which, in turn, made a celestial bed of heavenly happiness for my dou fu to sit on.
word up.
the basil tip garnish was a nice touch, too. ....i ate it with the first bite.
delicious.
-
add in that crisp, crawnchy coolwater cucumber and cabbage salad,
lime-juiced, and greenified with cilantro, scallions, and mungies,
and suddenly,
there's a feast flowing freely through the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
i LOVE food.
i love that vegan roast...
even though i went rogue with the black beans, and heavy on the bouillon,
it came out great, and it goes well with most things i'm likely to make this weekend.
never the same way twice is the way i progress,
not because i don't care about my culinary history,
but rather because i'm continuously writing it,
and improving upon the past.
no rewrites, no edits, only new chapters-
building volumes upon volume,
at a deafening volume;
never quiet, never soft.....