makeup

neighbors,
i LOVE holidays.
most of them, anyway.
i mean, c'mon.
the argument that valentine's day is a made up holiday,
that it's just a commercialized exploitation of a sentiment,
brewed up by advertisers to generate revenue other than just that of car sales
in the cold lonely month of february?
to that i say- so what?
really.
go tell that story walkin',
and mention it to green beer, vomit, diarrhea, and potatoes on st. patrick's day,
or christmas decorations for sale the week BEFORE hallowe'en,
or the idea that flowers and brunch, and super-short phone calls,
respectively,
are allotted to mother's and father's days.
duders,
i'll let you all in on a little secret:
ALL holidays are made-up.
yuuuuuuup.
that's how holidays work.
well,
except for maybe the solstices and the equinoxes.
those happen despite there being so few druids to observe
and sacrifice an ox to them from their dolmens and henges.
but anyway,
romance is expert.
love is expert.
hearts are expert.
lace is expert.
flowers are F*ing expert.
i'm not about to be all boo-F*ing-hoo that you might have to spend
three bucks on a card....because you won't make one, and you're not that rad, anyway-
i mean,
fancy dinners and linen tablecloths and chocolates and sh!t,
followed by lingerie and a little somethin'-somethin'
sure doesn't sound like a lame batch of b!tchery to ME.
but then again,
maybe i'm biased, because i know the rules-
celebrating the awareness of spirit and memory,
the passage and continued spanning of time,
and the temporal timekeeping of keepsakes and cakes and togetherness...
all of that is important, all the time, especially on the milemarkers
and the cornerstones that mark our progress through life.
no question,
and sure,
if you're poor, or cheap, or your partner is an ug-beast;
maybe improving your immediate situation should take precedence
over providing pink and red candies an' that,
but,
if you hate valentine's day,
i think you might be missing the point,
especially if you go see free fireworks on the fourth of july,
or grill hotdogs on memorial day.
y'feel me?
i hear a lot of workboot wearing d!ckturds say the exact same thing over and over:
you shouldn't need a day to be crazy over-the-top in love,
because that should be what you do every day.
.....except that they don't, ever, including on the designated time and date.
that'd be like saying you eat a responsibly-sized average ordinary meal on thanksgiving,
because you should be grateful everyday.
ugh.
ew.
shuuuut up with that.
that's the sort of unambitious idea that certifies you as a douchey necktard,
and i will not endorse that level of diapery babyish laziness.
why?
because too much is the right amount.
and that includes holidays, sentiments, feelings, and displays of emotion.
overdoing it,
and taking ample opportunity to grandstand, showboat, one-up,
and big-time all your peers is the only way to convey
for serious guys,
if you can't even spring for some intermediate chain-restaurant free-refills once a week,
then for crying out loud,
give your partner the one day a year to not be shortchanged on the special feelings.
besides,
it's not a waste of time, money, or effort if the sweet nighttimes bring the noise, right?
right!
here's the thing.
i love a theme.
i love variations on a theme.
and most of all,
i love treats in a theme.
that's no joke.
in fact,
i've been a busy little patty-cakin' bakerman specifically for valentine times.
check the phase-one-type teleport:

BOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
chocolate chip coconut bars!
with coconut oil, and coconut milk, and coconut flour and flaky coconut,
plus chocolate chips, a splash of soymilk, some vanilla, plenty of raw sugar,
and lots of that lovin' feelin'.
naturally,
i couldn't leave it alone,
since, while that IS sexy treat, it's not site-specific to valentineyness.
that's why i pulverized a ton of freeze-dried strawberries,
added them to a container of creamchee',
and mixed in some ground coconut flake, powdery sugars, vanilla, and a dash of soymilk.
mmmmhmmmm.
that pink hottness on top is what makes it good.
well,
that and those ganache drizzle stripes.
and the chocolate sauce on the bottom of the plate,
and that coconut milk ice cream on top,
and those pretty sugar sparkle sprankles.
i'm just sayin',
i could've phoned it in like a real effing jerk,
but instead i took it to eleven.
i like my holidays like i like my recipes, kids.
mmmhmmmm-
... made up.
so,
it's time,
these next few days, to overdo it,
and add the fire and explosions to it,
and put the new new hottness on,
and make lovey-dovey stuff pop off like a firework.
it's all really happening,
and you should be making it happen to.
you don't have to be IN love to love being expert.
that's all;
never quiet, never soft.....