one ingredient, so hard.

so,
i've got this guy who helps me out.
and in return,
i hook him up with some of my many delicious baked greats.
the thing is,
i haven't seen him in a little minute,
and in that little minute he had a berfday, which i missed.
and yes,
for sure, i well-wished and all of that,
but he didn't get any treats, y'heard?
yeah!
i know, neighbors...
i can't miss out on a chance to display gratitude and generosity,
and express my professional appreciation for all this homeboy has
done to help me be better than ever for these last few years.....
that's no joke-
which is precisely why i made his favorite flavor into a thing.
uh-huh.
coconut.
i used home-ground coconut flour,
and oats and wheats and coconut oil and pseudo-butters,
and i made cookie dough, yo.
check the teleport:

wu-TANG.
but, i mean, how expert do those look?
yup.
and did i get straight loc'd out on the overkill?
you know i did.
how?
c'mon.
by rollin' 'em in coconut before i baked 'em,
i made sure they had that extra activated hottness for our faces.
mmhmm.
that's real.
and then, i used coconut milk and powdered coconut and chocolate,
and melted it all into a drizzly glue.
glue?
yeah.
glue.
and when i drippity-dropped that hot chocolate down on half of every cookie,
it held ALLLL the toasted coconut sprankles in place.
too much is the right amount.
...and that's the bottom line.
i may not have been there on the big day,
but i still brought the belated big action to bear anyway.
so much coconut,
these jauns were like coconut sandies,
except,
i can't hang out with dry cookies,
so they had the crisp outer shell, but the soft and buttery crumb.
friends,
if you aren't reppin' that overdoo-dooin'-it dopeness?
sorry.
when that becomes the case,
you may no longer consider yourself invited to the party anymore.
***********
the weather, guys.
it can't decide if it wants to be terrible,
or just awful.
one thing is for sure, though-
it isn't warm out.
and that's great news once i leave the frigid frostcave i call home.
really.
the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress never gets very warm in any season,
and it's downright gelid once the temps plummet below fifty fahrenheit.
outside, however,
it's just the right atmosphere for sweaters.
and sweaters are good.
especially when they match your shirt and socks and kerchief.....
...which they always should, anyway.
the thing of it is,
i look much better with more clothes on than with less,
and therefore,
today is the day.
shirts and sweaters, and maybe even a light scarf?!
yup.
the object is to conceal more of what's old and busted,
with some knit-up wool blends or whatever,
and make it all look better for the effort.
this is it, and for that, you're welcome;
never quiet, never soft.....

werewolf.

holy F*ing full moon, kids.
i mean it.
those bluish beams bathing me in rays;
that silvery circle in the sky glowing like a lantern;
the press of my pulse at my temples and toes.
yeah.
full moon fever is upon us,
and it's making nighttime bright bright bright and shiny.
frosty fractals on fallen leaves,
and fawkesy fireballs for our faces.
y'know?
yep.
check the bonfire-night-type teleport:

fuego!!
how else could we end a full day of freshness,
and the overlapping lycanthropic lullabies of time and space spanned and spent together?
yes.
that's a thing.
by the end of the evening,
as the embers of my upcycled paper products died out,
and the vegan marshmallows got put away,
our whole Perfect Fall Day ended just exactly right.
we saw some people,
we bought some treats,
we treated ourselves well,
we spanned time and made time and took our time, and took others' time, too.
and then that fire tied it all together.
a werewolfen wassail of howls and heavy hands soulclappin' and b!tchslappin'
and all kinds of warmth and smoke and all-inclusive disintegration and combustion.
what i mean is-
twin lights, from the orb in the sky,
and the stone circle in the earth,
cold glowing lights, reflecting off the face of the moon and down onto us,
and hot tongues of energy converted from matter,
keeping us comfortable in the deepening autumn cold.
that's a good day, and night, for sure.
i know i got what i needed out of it.
***********
oh.
yes.
indeed, duders.
iron-pulling tidal waves of oceanic activation were absolutely effing with me.
being by the sea, during the lunatic magnetic maelstrom?
yikes.
and add in some F*ing dumb wind, too?
i had all my senses heightened by anxiety,
and i diluted them down to manageable levels with nutrients.
y'feel me?
that's right.
i gave my whole body something intensive to occupy itself with.
....digestion.
ugh.
i ate way too much food yesterday.
i had to.
i chose to.
i regret not one bite, neighbors.
lunch burritos the size of babies,
and enough dinner to feed fifty people,
instead of just three.
with snacks on the way to and from the food times.
mmmhmmm.
that's smart, really.
fueling up to slow down,
so that the barbaric berserker fury of a flustered blustery day by the sea
didn't spoil the whole point of it all.
word up.
because spanning time is supposed to be expert,
it all unfolds along the invisible dotted lines of a secret universal origami planagram
everything, all the time, as it happens.
what else?
nothing;
never quiet, never soft.....

remember remember.

...the fifth of november.

that's right, neighbors.

it's time for bonfires,

and gunpowder and treason and plots;

that includes, but is in no way limited to-

plotlines, plot development, plotholes,

and plots of land around the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.

uh-huh.

today is the day.

guy (guido-to-his-flippin'-friends) fawkes day.

and that's expert.

y'know what else is?

expert, i mean?

yuuuuuup.

caramel apple coffeecake!!!

check the perfect-fall-morning-type teleport:

boom.

that's IT.

molasses, maple syrup, brown sugar, and vanilla beans,

with all the macouns sliced and simmered into a thick sweet sauce.

yum.

and that on top of super-soft slightly tang-a-rangy soya yogurty cake,

and that on top of a graham cracker and butterish and vanilla crust,

and all of THAT underneath a glaze of cinnamon-ginger icing,

and THAT under a cinnamon dusted dollop of whipped creamishness.

mmmhmmm.

too F*ing right.

you really can't have too much of a good thing.

of course, 

all that means is that i'm tuning up square after square of this stuff.

breakfast cake is good for you, after all.

a Perfect Fall Day, with cake.

i'm pretty happy about that.

***********

so,

fire much later, cake right now, and all kinds of fun all day long.

plus, 

portland maine, and green elephant vegan hottness this evening.

what could make it all even better?

oh, right.

the cucch is downeast!!!!!!

and we're all having that tasty-A*dinner jauns together.

supreme expertism and active participation are in full effect.

yeah.

it's all really happening, guys,

and we'll make this a fifth of november to remember,

and i can think of no reason the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot;

never quiet, never soft.....

get the gloves.

take a closer look,
i mean, here's some of the details.
y'know?
now that hallowe'en has been over and done with for a little minute,
the props are in need of props while they're being propped up in the closet.
awwww.
it's just that they look so cool,
and they aren't really practical for everyday wear-
so all of that hard work is hanging up, piled high, out of the way.
i'd prefer to display them,
but i'll need a few mannequin arms.
until then,
maybe just take a closer, like i said.
check the glove-gettin'-gauntlet-type-teleport:

c'mon, neighbors.
pretty neat for pvc and plastics, foam and led ropes, no?
i'm just pleased with the end product.
yeah.
even though i've showed it off a bit already,
the little bits and the bigger pieces warrant some more attention.
y'gotta see both sides, too....
teleport right:

mmhmmm.
and the other one...
teleport left:

i'm encouraged to do more.
even though i'm discouraged regarding the point of doing more.
i guess the whole point IS more.
that's a thing, after all.....
mmhmmm.
yes, that makes more sense to me.
too much is the right amount.
and speaking of that,
i don't think i showed off the backpack attack accessories
from my last costume as closely as i'd have liked.
so,
maybe check out some of those little bits, as well.
teleport:

i love skulls!!
here, have a few more,
in a row,
of assorted angles an' views an' that:

ray guns!!! twin cannons, blasting out imaginary activation all over the place.
expert.
and the other other one:

that's a lightning glove:
yep.
i think i need to do more.
because there really shouldn't be any actual useful empty space anywhere in
the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
and i aim to make that the truth in practice throughout the closets
and the cabinets and the cupboards and the crawlspaces.
***********
i'll be working today, as usual,
and i'll be thinking about crafty craftsmanship while i'm there.
the days i span should be as full as my house,
and i'm not prepared to accept anything less.
making minutes into monuments,
making monuments into magic,
making magic happen every single second.....
that's a force multiplier orders of magnitude above the norm.
today, every second counts,
and i'm counting on that to get everything right.
it's all really happening,
fast forward and rewind all at once;
never quiet, never soft.....

adventures in the past.

so,
today is all-souls' day.
i guess i'll spend some time feeling bad about folks who aren't around.
.....
ok!
now that that's done,
let's keep it moving, neighbors...
i was the only artist at work yesterday.
huh?
oh, i'm serious.
one worthy warrior poet, composing songs of steam and fire, so to speak,
throughout a dreary, drizzly, awful day,
]accompanied, (barely) by none non-receptive receptionist,
and one body-style piercer.
we spanned the whole dang day with only a few clients to collaborate with
and those far-spaced throughout the hours in small clusters
of conversational cause-and-effect.
i guess the sh!t-salad of wintry wetness and too-soon bitter buffeting winds
was instrumental in keeping folks at home?
maybe.
i was where i needed to be, regardless,
and i was definitely doing what i needed to do.
and i was in the most perioud-accurate steampunk attire to date.
uh-huh.
check the teleport:

right?
waistcoat, pleated bib-front club-collared shirt,
with those burly brassy leather-type shirtsleeve garters,
high-waisted suspender-braced pants, pointy shoes,
cravat, and brown baler-A* bowler hat.
believe it.
all sorts of dangles, and bangles,
and those goggles, too, kids:

yep.
what well-educated highly-decorated dapper duder from the alternate past
likes not having his pipe handy?
correct.
y'gotta, or else your sauce is clearly weak.
and that's not something we're gonna ever hang out with around here.
i mean,
after all-
three costumes for hallowe'en?
that's expert.
and really,
they're all so different for being within the same theme, y'know?
check out the burly barbarian boiler backpack powering those dual power gauntlets:

c'mon.
i know you know it,
but too much is the right amount.
and in this instance, it's soooo right.
i think i had the most fun making this stuff i've had in forever.
it feels to good to create something out of junk and glue and paint.
sure,
it's sort of trickery,
but it's tangible, too,
and that counts for a lot.
i'm glad i did it,
and i doubt i'm done.
more is what i want,
of everything, always.
good enough is not enough,
and too much of a good thing is not even a real thing.
therefore,
there will certainly have to be more of all of this.
mhhm.
rules is rules, kids,
and i'm pretty sure that's in the books somewhere.

elf ears.
i guess goggle straps and hats are too much for my overwhelmed cartilage.
poor little listen-flaps get worn out hearing myself think, probably.
*
anyway,
life is returning to normal, now.
there will be no hot glue and dremel action allowed,
for a full week or so, give or take.
then,
after a respite,
and a solid shoveling of al this stuff into the appropriate piles,
we'll see where the foam and plastic take us, okay?
okay.
exercise and edibles,
brooms and spoons,
all sorts of hard work and yard work and tree removal and leaf blowing,
plus rakes and mows and holes and heaps of other things.
november is for working more, and more, and more.
this is all what's going on in the woodsly goodness,
and i guess that's all there is;
never quiet, never soft.....

past futures.

time traveling!
yeah!!
we went another hour into the past this morning.
i gotta tell you guys-
if i could relive any hour from the past,
and either enjoy it, or change it?
mmhmmm.
it sure as sh!t wouldn't be two a.m.on the sunday after hallowe'en of this year.
what a waste of the teleporter.
and on the ones, neighbors, that's real talk.
alas,
you just get what you get,
and that's all you get.
so,
i got up early/late,
and i got myself started on the restoration of my demolished hallowe'en headquartrers.
i'm gonna try to pack up what i can, throw out what i must,
and return this stronghold to it's most glorious incarnation-
the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress.
word up.
the thing of it is-
i actually crashed out last evening around eleven,
and awoke at what i thought was a ridiculously unpleasant 1:45 a.m.
ha!
but that's only partially real in terms of temporal stability, and chronometric accuracy.
y'know?
mmhmm.
upon further consideration,
it turns out i'd been psyched out.
and i'd actually gotten a whole extra hour of sleep,
although didn't even know it for a little bit;
nor did i feel rested;
nor was i any more enthused at 4ish when i fell back to slumberland.
jeez.
so much awake, and so much dark and stormy nighttime to insomniate through.
i guess treating myself to a decaf soy mocha at seven o'clock
had some serious repercussions.
i'm sensitive, friends.
perhaps because i'm a finely calibrated and delicatley balanced precision
high-performance artist of the first order,
or more likely,
because i'm a parched, precariously-perched perilously-practical practiced pilot
of a nearly-sinking ship inside myself.
yikes!
a little leftover caffeine in that lessened and dimished decaf draught,
and i'm all kinds of F*ed up.
i s'pose i should know better.
hmm?
yeah. i did know better.
but,
a surly saturday in the cold and snow-ish woodsly goodness,
after a slow day of solo tattooing in the studio,
all in my all-saints' day extra steampunk costume?
i felt like i had every right to indulge in some chocolaty coffee jauns.
....and of course, any reward comes with a price tag of punishment.
expert.
there'd be no sweet with the bitter, guys.
so, i'm just balancing the books,
bit by bit, and sip by sip.
going to bed early, and paying for it in the past.
weird.
***********
one of these days i'll take a picture of the adventurer's gauntlets i made.
for now,
get on this split screen teleport of yesterdays activated participation
in dias de los muertos-type poor-weather 'punking:

yeah.
i doo-doo that extra-day-of-dopeness-style sh!t.
too much is the right amount,
and that includes an extra hour of today, by default.
it's all really happening.
sixty minutes of it happened twice.
the good news is,
we're all living in the past right now,
but that just means we're resetting our own brighter futures.
i think, anyway;
never quiet, never soft.....

raBBitraBBit.

yep,
you know the drill, neighbors.
words.
spoken out loud,
for the cultivation of bountiful beneficial coincidences,
and the generation of good luck and better times,
this day, this week, this month, and all the rest of it, too.
mmmhmmm.
i said it before i fell asleep,
in the stillness of the (very)cold nighttime,
and again when i woke up in the (too damned early) morning.
post-midnight and predawn pronunciations,
expertly enunciated and echoing out into infinite space;
ricocheting off of hard corners, rough edges, and clenched fists-
the rebounding and resounding pounding of percussive sounds,
spoken out and spit past pursed and peevish lips.......
friends,
it's the first of the month,
and rules is rules.
so when you're want that hottness for the next thirty or so days,
you gotta say the magic words.
realize, recognize, repeat after me:
RABBIT, RABBIT!
that's right.
i'm gonna go ahead and assume it's working out well for y'all.
and if not,
you're probably doing it wrong.
don't wait for good things, make good things.
cultivating coincidences starts with holding the good stuff tight and bright,
right at the forefront of your presence of mind.
y'know?
it's real.
like,
if you want expert sh!t, you gotta hold onto that, hard,
and let it color your perception, and defog/uncloud your judgements.
look,
it's just as simple as this-
just be dope, or F* right off.
ask yourself if what you've got going on is dope.
if it is?
keep up the good work, and enjoy the burgeoning bounty of the fruits of your efforts.
but if it isn't?
well, that's simple enough-
it has to F* off.
there you go.
apply this template to everything,
because it's good for you.
mmhmm.
no thanks are necessary, but you are welcome all the same.
***********
i hate bars.
really.
and i don't want to go to them, at all,
never ever ever.
however,
that wasn't the case yesterday,
in fact, i got myself into a whole bunch of bars....
teleport:

ka-BOOM.
obviously, i meant pumpkin bars.
oh, c'mon.
you know me better than that, kids.
there isn't a costume contest out there that is gonna tempt me to the taps,
and make me any less of an intolerant temperant temperamental type.
that's no joke.
but pumpkin bars?
mmmhmmm.
i'm gonna shark-glutton binge out on those b!tches extra hard.
oatmeal and pumpkin and spices and maple syrup, and brown sugar,
and then that dark chocolate cocoa-thick drizzle jauns?
so expert.
where do you even go from there?
when the crumb is so moist and dense and spongy and magical,
and the stripes of pure sexy decadence are perfectly paired for maximum activation?
ummmm,
fall-colorful novembery sprankles is where you have to go from there.
don't be dumb.
it has to go to eleven,
it's november, after all.
the whole flippin' month is 11.
word up.
*
so,
today is the day.
again.
it's the first day, the best and the worst day,
and there's even talk of it becoming a snow day.
that's a hard style, for sure.
either way, cold and wet or cold and snowy,
the rabbit rabbit recital is out of the way,
and it's all about being number one, again.
mostly on a whole other 'nother new page on the calendar.
i really am grateful for the time i have been given;
never quiet, never soft.....

this is hallowe'en.

so,
a second day of dress-ups,
and more importantly,
a whole day of treats and tricks?!
yeah!!!
i made a coat to go with the medals i showed y'all a ways back.
yup.
the sergeant steampepper-style hottness was in full effect,
and,
when used in conjunction with all the other pieces of hallowe'en hottness?
get ready.
may i present albrecht voneisenrock, 
11th baron Wodengeist; 
commisar of the blitzfelsenbrocken fusiliers;
field marshall of the frontier stratospherium wastes;
lord of hinterkrieg and the nordenvalds.
uh-huh.
super flippin' nerd sh!t is happening right now.
check the hallowe'en-type teleport:

yeah!
and the defense of the stratospherium wastes hasn't been kind to the baron, either-
that rebreather gasmask has got some serious work cut out for it:

ouch.
hard on the ol' eyes, huh?
oh, c'mon.
the campaigns in the nordenvalds took a dude's whole lower arm off,
but that didn't matter much, now, did it?

yikes.
i had so much F*ing fun making all this stuff, neighbors.
seriously.
gas masks and coats and hats and robobotronics,
and even all the other other small things, too:

no details were beyond mattering,
and i s'pose that's why i haven't slept much in two months.
mmmhmmm.
totally worth every second though.
why?
because i LOVE HALLOWE'EN!
obvi.
***********
anyway,
it's finished for tonight.
sure i've got a few treats up my sleeves for tomorrow....
but, right now,
it's time to take it a little bit easy.
i'm sore all over, and exhausted everywhere else.
i did what i set out to do, which was to stay ugly and stay dope.

see what i mean?
and that's all there is to it;
never quiet, never soft.....

today is THE day.

HAPPY HALLOWE'EN!!
yeah.
this is it.
the big action,
the big business,
the big fun.
all of it all day long.
i'm ready.
are you?
well,
i think you'd better get ready, kids.
i'm serious.
because it's ALL really happening,
and that's the whole point,
also,
i got up and frosted the F* outta some tricky treats.
check the happy-haunting-type teleport:

yeah!!!!
pumpkin cups, all kinds of cakey and that,
but, are they just cupcakes?
as plain as they come?
c'mon, what are you?
an A*-hole?
no way, jose.
they're spiced and moistened and sweet as all get out;
and activated to the ghostiest mostest with that creamchee' frosting on top!
they're totally yum4tum, neighbors.
and of course after a base coat of ghost white ice,
i had to mix it up with those two-tone swirls of bloppity gooey frosty hottness,
orange and green for hallowe'en, y'know what i mean?
and so many different sprankles.
because too much is the right amount,
every time, and all the time.
***********
i love today,
even when i hate today.
and that's just the way it is,....
i'll be putting in some contacts in a little minute,
and i'll be brushing eye shadows all over my lids, too.
high dramabombin' is the way it's gonna be today,
and if i get anything else done,
it'll be a hallowe'en miracle, for sure.
there's no time for more writing,
there's only real life as a pretend person,
dressed up, messed up, and ready to fess up to all the blistering babarian rage,
and savage stormswept lightning-striking hot fiery berserker fury
that six weeks of costumes and no sleep will produce.
today is the day,
powered by cakes,
and fueled by a haunting and abiding irritation with all things.
maybe i'm just getting into character,
and maybe the apex is a crescendo of thunderous and deafening sh!t.
i guess we'll find out in a few;
never quiet, never soft..... 

MISCHIEF.

it's mischief night.
mmhmm.
the one before hallowe'en.
no,
i won't be toilet papering any schools.
no.
i won't be shaving creaming and door handles.
no.
i won't be soaping any windows.
hmm?
yes.
i will be wrapping up some cupcake baking,
and i afterwards i most certainly will be using a superhot glue gun.
that's what sort of mischief i get up to these days.
and also,
i dress up.
playing the part of an industrious man of science,
a professor of lightning-harnessing atmospheric storm-navigation,
and an al-around fancy man about town.
that's me.
and on mischief night/day,
i doo-doo that costume-type sh!t.
check the telport:

yeah!
i mean,
c'mon.
with the tippity-top hat,
and that big ol' burly brass-breathing deep-pressurized
upper ionospheric diving harness?
it's kind of expert.
i sure hope so.
with those tailored tweeds,
and all the rest of it, too.
mmhmmmm.
mischief is on the menu,
and so is pumpkin flavored everything.
rules is rules, neighbors, and that's just how it's gonna be.
more?
oh, okay, have a little more:

because without a stratospherium electronophizer,
how would power the dang thing?
y'know?
which is why it has one, obvi.
and from the back:

yep.
sassy, sophisticated, steamy steampunk preholiday active participation.
i just love costumes, kids.
so much.
get a closer look at this sh!t:

and check the teleport for those spatterdasher gaiter jauns, too:

all the tanks and hoses and valves and gauges.
i just want y'all to know how much work,
against time and the weather, that this little jobber took.
...because it was a flippin' ordeal.
all kinds of painting, and priming and plasti-dipping,
plus lights and pleather and tacks and rivets and everything.
and this is just one of three,
over the next few days.
of course, there's so much more to say,
and even more still left to do.
in fact,
i'm cutting this one short,
because it's all still going on, especially right now;
never quiet, never soft.....

where've i been?

shuuuuuuuut up.
where've YOU been?
because where i've been is gettin' busy,
heading into the future,
and getting ready for my favorite time.
that's where the heck I'VE been.
and i've been in my kitchen, baking,
and i've been on my kitchen floor, making,
and i've been at the tattbomb studio faking my enthusiasm,
and also,
genuinely working on projects when there's no work.
i should've brought some today,
instead,
it was all walk-ins, all damned day long....
and seriously,
that was the lamest part.
well,
that and the weather.
y'know?
it was lightly breezin',
and sunny,
and warmish,
and nothing at all like yesterday when i was trying to paint
and glue and shape and mold and tape and paint some more...
the high humidity and the dirty biting cold downpours weren't helping at all.
so,
the perfect weather, today,
was a solid five-fingered palmslap in the face of being finished with costumes an' that.
hmmmmmm?
no,
i'm not finished, all the way,
but i was all the way finished with today's costume.
today?
yeah.
today.
three days of hallowe'en, neighbors.
that's a thing.
or,
it is if you actually love hallowe'en and aren't just talking up some bullsh!t
to inflate your actual real-life enthusiasm.
y'heard?
woooooooooooord.
so,
i may also have been pretty busy in the oven area of my workspace, too,
in between trips to the stores, anyway.
mmmhmmmm.,
because what's up with treats?
right?
loctobery hottness needed to happen in my mouth,
and i think we all know what was the most necessary action to activate.
yes.
that's correct.
vegan pumpkin chee'cake.....

check the teleport:
aren't you glad you scrolled down past all those dumb words?
yeah.
i thought you would be.
extra buttery cinnamon graham crackery crustiness,
and super-firm soft deep, rich, sexy pumpkin magic filling.
what?
oh, that.
well,
it just so happens that it's cinnamon vanilla butterscotch drizzle,
and it's the F*ing big business.
no joke.
and with a goobieblop of soya-whippedy creme on top?
mmmmmmmmmmm.
breakfast at the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress went to eleven.
yep.
***********
chee'cake first thing in the morning?
expert.
that was, like, just right.
but,
no sleep the night before?
that's not even close to good.
and then, when you factor in the whole week before that,
staying up late,
and forgetting to eat,
and burning myself,
and huffing fumes,
and stressing out to the limits of sanity over minutiae ,
all of it, all the time,
just so i could go to the studio, and tattoo random, unimpressed strangers?
mmmhmmm.
real life always prevails.
all that work, largely unnoticed.
that's what being a woodsly goodsly warrior poet is all about, i s'pose.
live away from like-minded people,
try harder, be louder, and participate more than they do,
and then watch as the results pale in comparison to the effort.
....and eventually disappear.
it's all really happening.
that's the whole point;
never quiet, never soft.....