storytales.

bombardment!!
that's what the forecast is suggesting i prepare for.
an awe inspiring avalanche from the clouds.
white-outs and blackouts, even.
blizzardly wizardly windstormy nor'easterly new england hard style pounding.
the work schedule will likely be f*d up the a*,
the tourists will also be likely congesting the one road through town
on a fearful, frightful, grim, gridlocked exodus out of the heart of the polar tempest...
and i'm sure the gonad-gargling plowguy is poppin' a ragin' one,
over how hard he is gonna f* up my drveway!
the good news?:
due to the doo-doo buttery midwest blowback-bottomed backdraft of storminess,
harvest and maple are stayin' even longer....
this is like the extended director's cut version of school vacation.
another 'nother, other, 'nother extra day to enjoy together...
we stayed up late last night watching remi gaillard on youtube.
little kids love a-holes who do a-hole stuff.
so do a lot of big kids.
*ahem.*
everybody's sleepin' in but me.
again.
i'm makin' breakfast, ya'll.
word up.

i have to tell ya,
it's hard enough always tryin' to just being dope, my ninjas.
but also being engaging and entertaining is a whole 'nother bag of early-worms.
of course,
i've been makin' the most of my minutes.
and gettin' busy while i get busy gettin' down to business.
chattin' up the people who pop in and out of my life.
that's the integral support structure of any good storyteller.
the high points are usually great,
but they get a bit braggy, yeah?
and so battle-bards and warrior poets relay the sad sagas of sap-suckin' saucebabies, too.
comedy, tragedy, and history.
every victory has a defeat, an' that.
without the bitter, well, you know....
there is a flow that needs directing, after all.
to that end,
i've been being friendlier!
familiarity ensures comfort to my clients,
and often breeds contempt on my part;
free and easy.
that's my conversational style.
i'm not sure when it became competent communication,
instead of combative confrontation,
but it seems to be payin' off.
i'm sayin',
i don't have the time,
or the interest,
in intimately getting to know the inner mechanics of my client's lives,
but i'll listen to a scandalous story of triumph or tragedy...
and while i give 'em all a shot at really knockin' my socks off,
usually,
i'll handle the conversations from there,
once the epic fail is established.
surprisingly,
i usually only talk about the same set of scenarios:
bullets, bonfires, britain, baked goods, berserkers, boobs, boners, and buttholes.
y'know,
stuff that anyone who doesn't chug it is into.
awesome stuff.
and then i use the bits, pieces, scraps, and snippets of our dialogues
to feed the fountain of flavorful fancy i faithfully fabricate frequently.
remember,
without them,
we'd just be us.
and for those clients who may be readin' this:
i am, of course, talking about some other clients,
not ya'll.
however,
if you have to ask...
...i'm just sayin'.
never quiet, never soft....