to blathe...

i could really use a (minor) miracle right about now mutha-uckas.
and i hear the chocolate makes it go down easier.
i'll even wait the whole 15 minutes for full potency.
y'heard?....
a wheelbarrow and a doomsday cloak should definitely be listed amongst our assets.
no foolin', though,
a secret universal dropkick of dopeness would be okay with me.
or even just a friendly email or two....
my holdin'-it-down homeboy in hamden,
the one and only nice kid, mr. M.C.,
already got the good vibes started up,
with some mystical wizard-type tips and tidbits
about my most favoritest thang in the world, ya'll.
no, not THAT thing....
jeez, my kids read this sometimes.... 
the other other most favoritest thang, ya'll:
you know:
hot fire.....
a new level of viking vanguard victory is about to come on up.
you mutha-flippin' mutha-flippers aren't ready, either.
trust me.
once i gather the necessary spell components,
you'd better hold on to your heads, or wear a helmet, or somethin',
because minds will be BLOWN, son....
word up.

and while we're on the topic of mind blowin' fresh-to-deathliness,
you better figure out what's up.
i'm talkin' about ROSE CITY, ya'll.
as in:
vegan fancypants chocolates!!!
^you need these^.
they're almost TOO delicious,
as if that could even be possible.
if you're of the non-dairy persuasion,
or if your sweet honey baby is,
or if you just like your chocolate oprah winfrey style
(heavy, dark, and rich, fool)
you'd be wise to order up a bulky batch of those brown bombers,
and quick like a bunny, too,
before the day dedicated to romantic love comes around on the ol' calendar.
seriously,
you may not want to cough up money for my life's blood and sweat in art form,
but who doesn't love a good dark chocolate ganache, right?
i'm sayin',
put your money where your mouth is, at least,
if you can't put it in my pocket in exchange for some dollbabies or hot fiery bobots....
c'mon.

that's my 'c'mon' face.....
it's also interchangeable with my sparkle magical 'heeeeyyyyyyyyyyy!!' face,
and that's a pom -pom on my hat, too, b!tch.....

it sometimes seems as if only a couple mutha-uckas are listening.
when i say 'get at me',
i mean it,
get at me:
battlebeasteleven@gmail.com
stop playin' the wall,
and be an active participant.
as a gentle aside to all the wallflowers,
weak sauce waterbabies,
and timid nontemeritous turdbiters out there....
even if you were more inclined to keep it really real and real rural,
whole grain wheaty, 
high and mighty meatless,
big-bore pistol-packin', 
eruditely smart-ass smartypantsed,
or whatever;
i'd still feel the same......
worthiness doesn't just get granted to carbon-copied fall-in-line followers.
i walk side by side with my ninjas, kids....
fortune favors the bold.
so do i.
just be dope, ya'll,
or f* right off.....
2009=eleven.
how's that for accessible?
never quiet, never soft...