the new what-ness.

what could make my lovely, luscious wife recoil so?
did she open the door and see me playing papparazzo?
was there something so spooky-scary on the inside?
nope.
it was the smashed-up bathroom what did her in.
or, i should say;
the lack thereof.
i know there's no place like home,
but what about no place AS home?
at the very least,
it looks like there is no room like no room.
check it:

oh yes indeed.

that's a missing room.

and a dirt floor.

i mean,
if i have to have a new bathroom,
(and i have to have a newbathroom),
then it should be the freshest poop-hut possible.

you like it.

i know i do.

what kind of a crazy mess is this?

it's the kind of adult-onset obligation that old people love.

not feeling young?

too broke to travel?

let's fix this old and bustedness!

hooray!!

what's worse,

i'm actually excited about picking out super-sexy fixtures.

c'mon.

i didn't previously give a sh!t about bronze cabinet hardware,

or corresponding t.p. holders,

towel racks,

and toilet flush handles.

but i do now, duders.

this is what happens.

this.

it's happening.

***********

y'know what else is happening?

banana bread.

and why is banana bread happening?

because banana bread is dope.

that's right, and i mean it.

it's got two delicious things, at the same time;

it's bread,

and it's bananas.

what else do you need?

me and the mrs. are making moves in the kitchen.

together.

that's romance.

and unlike the flowers and champagne crowd,

we'll have more than just sticky jammies by the end of the night,

we'll have bellies full of awesome, too.

pinching loaves,

all apesh!t bananas an' that.

that's that new years newlywed action comin' up;

never quiet, never soft.....