this is it.

i thought shark gluttony was dope.
(and it so is)
but,
sharkbite plumbing equipment is even doper.
big gulping water-seal robobotronic getters.
it's magic gripping connector treats, ya'll.
and it is amazing.
no solder, sweating pipes, or whatever,
no pvc adhesive,
no plastic pex tubing crimper.
it just pops and locks.
it's b-boy breakin' builder's business,
and it is so super simple,
even i could figure it out.
and i did, and it's done...
...so i'm a plumber now.
surprise.
i've been wearing my pants extra low,
both as a homage to the poop-ploppin',
poppin', lockin,' don't-stoppin' freshness,
and to show off my newfound professional aspirations.
and here i thought plumber's crack
was some kind of hallucinogenic flux compound.
actually, we had a cracked pipe, too.
misty waterworks were rainbow brighting the basement.
it's repaired, duders.
and so is a whole bunch of other sh!t;
we've got a new hose spigot!;
we exorcised the spooky pipe demons (lead, iron, copper, and pvc);
we've got way more room in the horrorshow crawlspace!;
and,
there's insulation in the floor, my ninjas.
it's not the new hottness just yet,
but it is much much warmer.
slowly, we're replacing what we removed,
and adding what was missing.
who'd have thought a 5' x 6' room could take up so much space?
in my head, i mean.
guess what i dreamt about?
ponies.
c'mon.
but,
the ponies were searching or authentic pyramid head nails,
for the red pine floors in the bathroom.
more than just my waking life is occupied, ya'll.
***********
i'm finally free.
y'heard?
no more storage units for me.
it's been years.
and now,
i've got all my eggs back in one basket,
and one less bill every month tryin' to F* my A*.
that's good news, kids.
the storage unit guy is sad to see me go, he says.
i'm a cool dude, he also says,
and,
i'd look good with my style,
at an awards show,
like the c.m.a.'s.
what?
true story.
two compatible things, yeah?
my style, and the country music awards.
more like hard styles, i think.
i'm not sure if my feelings are hurt.
they might be.
then again,
i don't have to go there anymore.
so i still come out ahead.
and i'm a cool dude.
so there's that;
never quiet, never soft.....