au revoir, new hampshire.

seven o'clock, b!tches.
i'm up.
i'm at 'em.
and it's all happening.
there were rumors of snow inches,
but they ended up unfounded.
so,
it's going on as we wake up here.
the big action.
the jet planes are getting fueled,
my luggage is packed,
and i'm not letting ANY s.w.b.'s F* with my sh!t.
i suppose i'll have to tattoo tomorrow,
but today i'm airborne,
and i'll be arriving this afternoon like a heavy-handed
hungry hungry hippo in minneapolis.
will there be prima nocte shark gluttony a la' brown blops?
yeah.
of course there will.
what am i?
an A*hole.
decibels and decibels of devastation, y'all.
two big mouth battle beasts in one room?
you'd better bring some cotton-balls if you don't have earplugs-
the louderhorn is about to become the deafeninghorn.
***********
the woodsly goodness will have to get on without me for a while.
i'm sure my better half is terribly upset.
sure she is.
what?
she called you and invited you over for a pajama party?
oh.
that's probably just how she deals with the devastating absence
of this much heroic manliness and beard.
the manly beardsliness isn't gone,
it'll just be elsewhere.
it IS possible to overfertilize, after all.
so i'm spreading it around.
***********
this little lull before the big action is perfect.
it's cloudy and calm.
there's tea and toast on the table,
and my wifely hottness is next to me.
i'll miss all this;
i am grateful for this time.
that's enough sweet to sugar up the bitterest bits, b!tches.
dang,
i almost feel sorry for minnesota.
i'm taking something out on it.
tonight.
get ready, kiddos,
i'm on my mutha-flippin' way;
never quiet, never soft.....