sunday in the wind tunnel.

i should take up parasailing
or some other wind-based epic A*-holery,
because it is still preposterously windy.
every single flippin' leaf is making that rustle noise.
all day long.
the whole world around me is jangly and noisome.
that's supreme awfulness.
plus,
there's no percussion to any of it.
just tinkle-bells, and jazz cymbals, and babbling breath sounds...
where's the F*n' bass, my ninjas?
word.
the only available cure for this kind of butt-blasting
gale force gaytardedness?
panniecakes!!
c'mon.
what else am i gonna eat on a blustery sunday morning?
it's supposed to be so easy, kids.
still,
syrup and faux butter and wheat frisbees?
oh man, i'm ON it so hard.
panniecakes make it all better.
every time.
blow on, inland hurricane storminess,
i've got tasty whole-grain lps to play on my palate.
and when i've finished feasting, fantastic mr. fox ferociously,
y'know what i'm gonna snack on for the rest of the day?:

candy-mutha-lickin'-beans!

vegan mutha-flippers an' that.

41 flavors of gourmet candy in bean-shaped pebbly blops.

yep.

forty-ONE flavors.

gimbal's gets it in.

but let me go on record here-

buttered popcorn-flavored candy-beans?

unacceptable.

there are other untasty ones,

but that but' p' is by far the worst.

it's like a secret ruiner in the bag.

i used to take a gamble on whether or not the white ones

were coconut, vanilla bean, or terrible buttered plops-

not anymore, though, ninjas.

now,

i just fire 'em out of my car window whenever i encounter them.

ALL the white ones.

that's how i doo-doo that empowered sweet treat defeating.

-

dear coconut candy-beans,

you should've been more easily distinguishable

from your yellow-spotted counterpart.

i'm sayin'.

then you'd be in my mouth,

instead of on the highway.

love, albie

-

it's true, of course.

when i'm at the grocery store,

i look for the bags with the least concentrated

collection of white ones.

i'm just so like that.

if only there were more going on,

but it's a non-stop tatblastin', hand-hurtin', bean-munchin'

real-deal real life of everyday every days.

it's all happening,

windswept, wild and wilful;

never quiet, never soft.....