the whole family.

it's a small world for larger-than-life livers.
someting about not being drawn to scale or somethin'.
you'd think there was a beanstalk around here somewhere,
what with the influx of giant hottness in my vicinity-
what's the cause of the solar flare-up temperature changes?
my family of choice, muthas.
the all-st*r heroes.
the first-round draft picks.
the special forces delta team.
six serious soul-surviving viking lightning-strikers-
harvest & maple,
the cucch & silent yet somehow salient holly,
my wifely wonder & moi.
that's the original lineup, duders...
the first and foremost Folk Life legion.
we're all here,
manning the crenelated battlements,
and guarding the portly portcullises of the fortress.
worthy warrior poets;
some swarthy soldiers,
and some sallow sailors;
light and dark,
day and night,
good, bad, indifferent,
and for some of us,
invariably ugly;
which is to say, therefore, dope.
living the life of luxury.
luxury?
yeah, luxury.
super-fancy an' that.
too much is the right amount,
and if it's a luxury, it is absolutely very necessary.
luxurious life living, really real times and places.
it goes to eleven, obviously.
puerile pranks?
we gots them jauns.
vegan eatsie treats?
naturally.
long, luscious evenings and bright, bright, bright days?
c'mon,
what are we?
A*-holes?
no way, kiddos,
we're berserker barbarian battle-beasts.
woodsly goodness is what we DO.
and the full-moonlight bright and shininess?
that's bold bardic beatdown fuel, y'all.
throw in a loaf of broccoli bread and some doughnuttines,
and it's like a family reunion you'd actually want to go to.
this is the crew i hand-selected to span time alongside me.
my peoples.
that's word.
***********
how do you know the world is full of human turds?
take a spin through the majestic mountainous
scenic byways of northern new hampshire today:
it's a friday on a vacation weekend for regular folks.
that means crowded restaurants,
congested thoroughfares,
out-of-state license plates,
and epic inconsiderate gaytardation.
nightmares in broad daylight.
plus,
residual lunar moonbeam wolf-lasers
are adversely affecting all the moon-children up here.
that's powderkeg punch-out poppin' and lockin'-type sh!t.
luckily,
we've got our self-selected city-state sovereign island;
our dead-end, out-of-the-way castle;
our very special, very own lycanthropic laputa in the sky.
tucked away, y'all.
top-secret, like the universal planagram.
we doo-doo that ninja summer kickoff business.
hard, and loud, and fresh...
...for your face.
broke, broken, ugly, and dope.
again;
never quiet, never soft.....