frozen solid.

hey, neighbors-
it's still cold.
yeah.
i'm sure you're well aware of it,
at least, if you live on the top half of the right side
of these united states.
the thing is,
it's so cold that everywhere isn't warming up.
at all.
like,
not even INside;
under the covers and sheets and blankets and quilts;
with the heat on high, hot, and heavy;
and the woodstove going....

damn.
that's a hard style.
hard,for serious, like ice.
hard,
like the clogged pipes that are all stopped up.
hmmm?
yeah.
stoking the fires on high,
just to keep my breath less-visible indoors is one thing....
but un-chilling the crawlspaces underneath
the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress?
that's a whole other other 'nother thing, entirely.
friends,
the pipes are frozen.
and that means that water sleeps,
and sleeping water is untouchable,
until it's good and ready to go where it wants.
guess where it wanted to go?
yeah!
up out of the secret seams and seals in the plumbing,
and all over the floors of the Fortress.
uh-huh.
do i want an ice rink in my super-sexy downstairs bathroom?
sure.
or, at any rate,
did i want sopping socks and slippery super-chilled liquid
and a whole lot of heated fluids and plungers and profanity?
i definitely wanted all of that,
because all of that is what actually happened.
i keep it expert,
even when every day is the worst one.
what?
right?
i know.
apparently the secret universal plan felt i needed reminding.
ugh.
***********
the good news?
hahahahaha.
nope.
c'mon.
what's that, now?
oh, sure, i forgot-
it's gonna get warm again tomorrow,
and it's gonna rain again, too.
and that's sort of positive, right?
don't be dumb.
y'know what's happens when it rains after a brutal arctic blast?
all that uninvited water, instead of the insulating activation of snow?
snow has that R-value, duders.
water that isn't already frozen before it hits the ground,
is just gonna freeze on these barbaric tundra glaciers
that's been supercooling on every inch of already-iced-over wetness....
and when more ice is stacked on top of acres of ice already frozen in place?
all the balls of ever are gonna get sucked by the environment.
word up.
the ground temperature is so cold that the warmer air temperatures
would only be great if there wasn't precipitation involved.
because in that case, it's actually a terrible idea.
that's a thing.
the earth is just too dang full of stored-up frigidity.
rain freezes on direct contact.
.....yeah.
i'll bet that should be big fun for everybody.
i know i'm looking forward to another trip down the hill over here.
the spinout demolition derby is scheduled for eleven.
y'know?
nature wins, every time,
but she is just such a dirty b!tch.
the nights seem longer,
the styles feel harder,
the days take forever,
and it's all so flippin' numbingly frostbitingly abominably cold.
-
so am i getting excited about the impending warmth?
not even one little tiny bit.
ouch.
every wild animal knows that bright spots usually end with collisions.
ouch.
don't go getting all kinds of excited
about what looks like a light at the end of the darkness-
it's just oncoming traffic in one form or another
stay cold, kids;
never quiet, never soft.....