temporary temperatures.

the thing about bad weather is:
it's bad.
duh.

dark, stormy, slippery, windy, whatever-
there's a specific set of conditions that aren't good.
and that makes sense.
but,
the thing about cold weather is:
it's horrible.
and that's mostly because it can still be sunny and bright,
calm, clear, and beautiful,
and then snap your earlobes right the F* off
and bite your dainty bits with black and white frosties
like a jackin' nippy gelid jerk anyway.
...that's duplicitous and tricksy,
and i hate it.
i mean,
i sorta prefer my bad weather to actually look bad,
so i can judge it at face value.
is that shallow?
maybe.
but also so much easier to accept.
pleasant surprises beat psych-out sh!t-salad switcheroos
very nearly every time.
duh.
-
neighbors,
it's been that sort of cold all year.
haha.
but, really, though,
it's so cold everywhere all the time that we're setting records
for new levels of being the worst.
is that in the cooking instructions for brewing up
a happy happy new year?
i don't really think so.
freezing isn't supposed to be part of the new hottness,
unless i've missed something along the way?
hmmmm.
i think having your exhaled breath become spitcicles in your beard,
and your nostril become salt-faucet snot drippers immediately
upon exiting any edifice might be for A*-holes.
real talk.
my fingers cease to move in their usual glib and deft style,
and instead clank around like knobby railroad spikes.
friends,
it's too frigid for basic levels of dexterity...and that's lame.
robot walking, shoulder-hunching, fist-and-buttcheek-clenching cold.
i'm not into it.
snow is great, and that's no joke,
but when it's forty degrees colder than freezing?
that's not enough,
and not enough is not invited.
word.
***********
get what we ask for?
oh.
okay.
let's do that.
seriously.
how about some bad weather......

it got just warm enough to turn everything into a block of ice,
with runoff for flooding everywhere else.
heavy snow under a skin of crunchy water,
on top of a stratum of slush,
leaking slippery fluid,
and turning all exposed surfaces into treacherous terrain.
it's bad weather.
and it sure is.
yup.
me and my big mouth.
be careful when you're complaining-
you might cultivate the wrong kind of coincidences.
words have power, maybe?
i'm an abominable blizzard wizard,
and a scalding skald,
and apparently,
i'm just making it worse-
you do what you can,
i just do what i do.
if it isn't worsening, it probably isn't really happening;
never quiet, never soft.....