tricking my tastebuds.

it's so cold!!!!
believe me when i not that i actually like cold weather.
that's no joke.
i look better in layers,
but i hate sweating, so cold is where it's at.
however,
i don't like when it's so F*ing cold that there
are no places with any warm spots, though.
y'know?
i mean,
very few things feel better on numb toes and chapped fingertips
than the tingles of returning circulation and recalibration from the
emanations of a hot hot hot woodsly fire in a cast-iron stove,
with radiating rays on the burly bricks of an elite hearth,
after doing some kind of expert manly winter activation outside.
that's real.
but,
when you're still freezing, standing next to a metal box
chock full of glowing coals and roaring flames?
that's pure A*-hole.
no kidding.
the thing is, neighbors-
i need a little reminder of what non-yeti conditions were like.
i mean it.
so,
i got out some strawberry jam,
and some freeze-dried strawberries, (c'mon)
and some frozen strawberries (ugh),
and i sliced and scooped and pulverized all of 'em,
in varying degrees of preparation,
in a big pot on the stovetop,
just so i could cover a treat with some semi-summery summoning.
yeah.
check the pink-and-red-type teleport:

word!
vegan strawberry chee'cake,
for my cold, chapped, cracked sad lips.
expert!
i'll have you notice that in this photograph,
there's very nearly a quarter of it gone already.
that's right, friends.
shark gluttonous first-slice privileges were indulged.
i'm that big-big-bigger bite business, y'heard?
yeah.
i doo-doo that gimme-more-treats-for-my-face-type sh!t.
barbarians don't take shorts, and they hate thing slices.
trust me.
it looks good though, doesn't it?
it IS good, mutha-lickers.
recognize.
huh?
yes.
i put strawberries in the chee'cake, too.
those pectin-rich powdered pieces i make in my spice grinder
make like magic potion jauns for the creamy inside bits...
and the jammie-jam adds a secret something, too.
make sure you add a goobieblop or a scoople whenever you can.
that's a little tip from the Folk Life test kitchens just for y'all.
a little lemon juice for tartening the tastes,
a little lemon extract to enhance the berry flavors,
and a lot of white stuff to make the middle more interesting.
flour and blops and blarps and bricks of white in white on white.
mmmmmmmmmmm.
-
anyway,
the graham crackers and the oat flour
and the brown sugar and the coconut flour
and the butterishness and the soymilk and the vanilla
all together in one place, in the oven, even,
helped make the crust a great big success.
but,
who is surprised by that?
nobody?
good.
cooking up fruits or berries,
adding maple syrup,
using my new berfday blender to make a smoothie-style batter,
taking steps and following formulas,
and disregarding written recipes-
kids,
it's what gets me by.
relaxation through treats creation.
and for a few bites, at least,
there's something tangible to show for my effort.
until eventually it turns to sh!t.
awwww, man.
digestion is a real jerk.
-
the chee'cake helped.
i knew it would.
of course,
as i'm typing this, my fingers are turning black.
is that bad?
i don't think more creamy fruity pie can fix that.
it's cold everywhere.
and that's just the way it is;
never quiet, never soft.....