measured, patterned, retraced, cut, sanded, detailed, sealed,
painted, weathered, and assembled.
that's the way i doo-doo that dress-up ess-up magic for my costumed dramabombing.
yup.
so many small lines and large razors,
all before the forms could fit together and actually make something special.
it's time consuming, and thought/labor/improvisationally intensive,
but it's what i do,
and i couldn't do less even if i wanted to.
...which i do not,
because too much is the right amount.
all the plates on the armor were affixed in articulating segments,
like an insect carapace, so i could move around in 'em.
expert?
i kind of thought so.
i'm not trying to belabor anything,
but i'm proud of the labor-intensive interactive participatory process i produced.
check the teleport:
there're a lot of straps attaching each piece,
and every section is it's own thing.
there's the side armor, in three plates per side, curved around my hips,
in a cummerbund of belt-line protection.
then the chest and back are attached at the shoulders,
with the underarm strips affixing the front and upper shoulders in place,
while the rest flexes along the centerline on both faces.
then there's the fur trim, and the leather straps and buckles,
just for added measures of barbarian brutality and war-torn forlorn
words-worthy Folk-Life-forged freshness.
as if the dremel tool distress, and the exacto-blade sword strikes weren't enough.
actually, they weren't enough.
too much is (still) the right amount, after all,
and MORE is what we all wanted, and needed.
the lower vambraces are just conical cylinders,
ornamented in ornate knightly accoutrement,
and butted-up flush to the glovely gauntlets,
complete with built in overlapping wrist guards.
the upper arms, like the lower, are not symmetrical,
one attack, and one defense-styled pauldron apiece,
with upper arm stops,
and straps that attach to the shoulder guards on the main torso.
i knew they'd slip off wen i was moving around a lot,
even with elastic, and heavy felt/velcro inner arm attachments-
so they got that little something exxxtra just in case,
and that was what turned out to be the most necessary addition, for sure.
- then,
there's the matter of adding that belt, and attaching the upper thighs.
it became obvious that the leg guards weren't going to stay put conventionaly,
so i attached them to some old undies with a ton of hot hot glue.
uh-uh.
that's real...
it looked, good, but not good enough,
so i added that fur codprotector to make it seem less like a pair of drawers,
and more like a reproductive protector from the savage stormswept arctic wastes.
it's those details that sell it, i think.
the belt is sectioned, and velcroed, with that ween dangler in front,
and that diaper flap out back,
so that my literal skinny A* wasn't exposed to the elements.
after all that, the legs were a piece of cake.
straps on the caps,
the shins are each just one huge block, bent, frozen, and notched for a perfect fit-
and the back-calf chitin chunks sare interlocked and elastic'd to my legs.
after that,
it was really just a matter of slippin' on the boots.
those chopped, lowered, and customized sinister winter jauns look hella big and burly,
and that's because they ARE.
yeah!
i sort of wish i had test fitted the whole thing first.
but,
time was of the essence,
and it was running out faster than i could catch it,
so i had to trust my intuition, and hope that my instincts were on point.
well,
you see the results, and i presume that's the proof we can all accept?
word.
but, there's just one more thing-
teleport:
^^^^^it's a salad bowl top
with the dressing container turned inside out,
and a lemon juice cap cut off and added to some foam accents?
heck yes.
that's a futuristic power pack for fueling some serious berserker business.
well, i thought was cool anyway.
fur and wigs and contact lenses,
plus,
makeup by my friend elsah,
and all together we've got something pretty loud, fresh, and hard.
the whole costume weighs maybe ten pounds.
for serious.
that's the beauty of bendable malleable eva foam.
i love hallowe'en,
and i love making stuff,
and i'm so damned glad i got it done in time.
puppies and work,
bad weather,
and good times with great people
all conspired to consume the small moments of time i had at hand...
...but i'll stay up forever,
and i'll choose the biggest wrench when faced with even the smallest challenge,
so i s'pose it really just turned out precisely as it had to.
there's only ever been hard styles all along,
so what the eff else would there have been?
i'm grateful for the time i have been given,
and i'm even more thankful for the time i have taken.
i won't give even a single second back;
never quiet, never soft.....
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