toys.

neighbors,

just because i'm ugly on my skin doesn't mean i can't get cute from within.

y'know?

i'm allowed to do cute sh!t.

i mean,

you don't have to agree with that, 

but you're not the boss of me.

i let my hard styles soften a bit for my main man crabtree, y'feel me?

for serious.

check the teleport:

awwwwwwwwww.

but, that IS cute, right?

i know!

i got all the kinds of alligators for my one handsome boy.

that's what's up.

it's just that he's a puppy,

and like every puppy worthy of the name,

crabby loves to bite the sh!t out of a semi-aquatic-style stuffed reptile.

it's a paleolithic pugilistic paean to the joys of being a battle-beast,

written with teeth, in the absence of hands. or better yet, hands with teeth....

honestly,

i'd rather he savage and worry and gnaw on all of them than on me.

for real.

he's welcome to wreak wreckage throughout the batting-filled toy kingdom,

in a challenge to erase his chewy instincts and assuage the angst 

of his erupting enamel eviscerators.

yikes.

now,

check the under-the-table-type teleport:

he ALSO likes his lobsters.

he has three. two reds and a blue.

which only makes sense, when taken semi-associatively.

i mean,

circles and ovals, 

rectangles and squares, 

hot dogs and hamburgers-

crabs and lobsters-

one long one, one fat one.

it's a thing.

and they do all just sort of sit next to each other at all the parties.

in this case,

the fat crab is the cooler one,

whereas normally, the lobster wins that contest.

i don't know if y'all can grasp the change over here.

i'm being patient, and kind, for the most part,

with a very naughty, naughty little rascal.

and by rascal, i mean total F*ing A*-hole.

it's all tooth-and-nail, whenever he's not asleep.

i'd forgotten how much FUN a puppy is.

wrecking everything, and not listening is good for you, probably.

for serious.

i'm just sayin', 

i've been on that runaway train for decades,

and just look at what a good boy I am.

hahahahahaha.

me and my dude have got ourselves a relationship,

and the best part?

he can't unfriend me.

i've got total control of the treats, 

and my dreams of totalitarian and benevolent tyranny are coming true.

the pooping puppy populace may resist for now,

but i assure you, without any intentional plotline spoilers-

the sovereign state of warrior poetry wins in the end.

aw;

never quiet, never soft.....