stay black.

it's black friday in the white mountains,
and all i can think about is pumpkin pie chee'cake!
and vanilla chee'cake!!
and pumpkin pie vanilla chee'cake!!!
yep.
i mean, i do love shopping,
but i do not love shopping around cheapskate greedy babies
climbing over each other for a ten-cent doorbuster sofa cushion.
gross.
the thing is,
even more than buying stuff,
i really love a good cake, or pie, or whatever.
i'm about those treats, man.
i have 'em.
all of  'em.
and they're dope.
like,
really dope.
and you all already know i get busy with elite crusts, right?
yup.
and i wouldn't want to take shorts now, would i?
no way.
so, i kept on with the elite crust jans,
and i did that again-
graham crackers, flaked coconut, oats, coconut sugar,
vanilla, melted butters, the works.
packed into a spring-form pan, thick, and dense, and fresh.
mmmmmm.
a good crust will determine if something is good or great,
but,
a lumpy chee'cake can't overcome a fabulous crust.
that's real.
luckily,
i'm fully immersed in that smooooooth chee'cake game, kids.
believe it.
stacked up, in two layers, and two flavors,
you KNOW i'm keeping it molto expert.
neighbors, don't take my word for it,
check the teleport:

YEAH!!!
neighbors,
cinnamon brown sugar butter cookies,
with those crate&barrel cookie-cutout stamps?
mmmmmmhmmmmmmmmm.
and rich, sweet, cinnamaple frosting, too??
too much is the right amount, y'all.
and besides,
i told you.
i LOVE treats.
i especially love it when they're very fancy.
*
i'll be bringing it with me to work today,
where the blackest of black friday moods will descend
on all the duders who walk through the door expecting deals.
however,
this tastiest of treats will still await the appetites of MY clients,
but only if they can tell me a good enough story.
that's a thing.
show up with a true tale of really real life,
and i'll slice you off a sliver of this epic eliteness,
for your face!
nobody eats for free,
but all it'll cost you is a tale of average height;
never quiet, never soft.....