Saturday, September 8


regular pizza is tight af.
fancy pizza?
that sh!t is the big action burly barbarian business, b!tches!
wordimus prime.
anybody can have regular pizza,
but only worthy warrior poets and for-really-real food aficionados
seek out the substantially sexxxier sorts of crusty lust
that come from exxxceptionaly expert homemade vegan pizza times.
...that's no joke.
i made kid-friendly pizza,
which looked just like regular pizza, with perfect well-proofed crust,
and three kinds of chee', and sauce, and help from three hungry little ones-
that was all good, and it went over like a little family dinner togetherness,
which in turn made me happy and sad.
well, the big kids and i did that every night we were together for a decade,
and now, we're moving forward into a new era,
and it's sweet, and it's new,
and it brings up the old alongside the present-
memory and spirit and a real couple of hard-style F*ers, man.
i have strong feelings, as befits a strong man, and when i get that stirred up,
i sometimes just need a little minute to collect myself.
bigs and littles and new olds and old news and new news......
the common thread is that i'm firing up the oven in all scenarios.
that's my unifying force.
so, after we made regular youngin' pizza,
i made super-deluxxxe manliness for my own mouth...
check it:

that's olive-oiled and pink salted and black peppered potatoes;
oven-roasted garden fresh tomatoes;
daiya mozzarella, minced as is mandatory for maxxximized meltability.
rules is rules, fools.
don't leave it as fat shreds, it sucks a little when you do it that way.
raw red onion is dope.
that's a fact.
also, scallion sprankles, alongside fried garlic sprankles??
man, c'mon.
good pizza makes you a better person.
and without those exxxtras, you're not as good.
real talk.
the chick peas, though-
oil, GPOP, smoked paprika, cayenne, black pepper, and thyme.
that's how you do-doo the freakiest sh!t, kids.
and it's SO good.
a savory saucer of semolina sourdough-activated fast-risin' crust-
added last minute to the menu?
here's what i did:
in your must-have stand mixer, with the must-need must-knead hook attached, combine:
1 1/2 cups flour;
1/2 cup semolina flour;
2 tsp salt;
2/3 cup warm water;
1 tsp sugar;
3 T active sourdough starter;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;
beat all that up for 11 minutes, let it rise while your oven preheats to 480℉,
and build yourself a better pizza with this better bread.
you got this.
i've got today to doo-doo all the treats.
this morning is my only solo a.m. all week,
and while i'm feeling a little lonely,
i'm also feeling molto motivated to make the magic happen.
so ive got treats on treats on the docket for the day's start.
i don't even care-
cake, muffins, tarts, all the things.
that's what's poppin', and that's what's up.
if you ain't about that treats life, keep moving-
we're so bitter all the time, we need a little sucrose to balance the scales.
this is it.
it's all really happening, and that's the whole point;
never quiet, never soft.....

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