Monday, September 17

FRITTERS!!!!!

holy sh!t!
y'all aren't ready for how much hottness i just invented.
seriously, the new new is in effect,
and i'm exxxtra-proud of it.
that's real.
gluten-free, but you'd never know it.
baked, not fried, but you'd never feel like you're missing out.
lower in fat than most of what i make, not that it matters.
and full of cinnamony granny smithy apple magic for your face.
check it out:

WEEEOW, FRITTERS!!
they're F*ing excellent, man.
and more than that, they're a totally invented off-the-cuff creation, too.
uh-huh.
i had an idea, and it worked.
and i'm pretty psyched about that for sure!
they're moist and soft and chunky and spiced so nice.
there's maple syrup and a hint of coconut so subtle f you're not looking for it,
you'd likely assume it was some sort of heavenly kiss from the aether, bro.
real talk.
these are the TRUTH!
you want them.
trust y'boi when he tells you: you want them.
and here's how you can have them...
consider it a gift from me to you:
-

GF FRYE-TOWN FRIIIITTERS!!
-
preheat your oven to 360℉.
-
in a small pot, you're gonna need to get the apples ready first-
so, peel, core, and cube up 3 granny smiths (or whatever you'd prefer)
into 1/2'' chunks, and add 1 T cinnamon, 2 T maple syrup,
1 tsp coconut oil, and 1 tsp vanilla, all together, and simmer that stuff on mediumish heat,
until they apples start to soften and juice up,
and the cinnamon starts wafting through the whole house.
-while those are slowly bubbling, get out a medium sized mixin' bowl,
and combine:
1/2 stick (4 T) vegan butter;
1/2 tsp salt;
2/3 cup sugar;
3 T vegan sour cream;
2 tsp coconut milk powder;
3 T unsweetened unsulphured medium flake coconut-
next add:
3/4 cup bob's rice-based 1:1 gf flour;
3/4 cup bob's gf bean-based baking flour;
2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
1/2 cup gf oat flour;
1/2 cup non-dairy yogurt.
-
now, add the apples to the flours,
and toss 'em until they form the stickest mixture.
i formed up a dozen baseball sized blops, and pressed 'em flattish on a pair of baking trays,
before i baked 'em up for thirty minutes.
...that's the move.
then, while they were still hot , i placed 'em on a wire rack, over a bowl,
and dumped a dollop of icing over each one, which melted into all the cracks and crevices
like sugary lava....
that's expert, and that's overkill, and that's the wa to go, bro.
yup.
too much is the right amount.
that's no joke.
the icing is literally just powdered sugar and water.
mostly powdered sugar, with jussssst enough warm water to get it gluey.
the hot fritters did the rest of the work.
-
they're so soft, but they're not wet. the apples are firm, but not raw.
the spice is tight af, and the crumb is the prefect texture.
they must've slightly steamed with all that apple juiciness, i guess,
because they were out of this world with smooooooth flavors and textures,
and that's what we all need more of today and every day, right?
word up.
*
i had no idea when i woke up that i was gonna get so fresh-to-death on a batch of fritters.
i mean, i had the overwhelming urge to get into some serious sh!t,
but i also had no baseline plan for what was gonna pop off.
i'm pretty glad for the events that unfolded in front of my eyes, guys.
when a plan comes together, i get excited.
when a tasty morning treats crosses my plate, i get amped up like nobody's business.
that's where the magic happens,
somewhere between inspiration and activation.
i'm happy about it.
if you make these, you will be too.
i ate a LOT of''em,
and i feel fantastic about that.
i can't wait to hear about what YOU think when they first cross your lips,
fresh and warm and sweet and spetembered the F* up.
heck yes.
get into it, and you'll be in great shape for the res of the day;
NQNS.....

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