Monday, September 3


i said the thing.
i had to.
rules is rules.
first words to pass my pursed parsed lips,
spit and spat and spewed like a curse into the universe-
rabbit! rabbit!
a double-doggystyle lagomorphic dare to the spirits and memory of
cultivated coincidental fortunate favoritism,
to do it's best to do better, and attach the excellence of existence to me and mine-
that's a lotta pressure to put on one word, uttered as an echo of itself, isn't it?
we'll see what happens.
meanwhile, i still observed the other other rule-
on the first of the month, you make a treat.
that's a thing.
here, have a little look-see:

cake is a little baby bit hard to bake without real flour.
that's no joke.
but, i'm getting the hang of it, and it seems to be working out well.
i dunno if i'm doing it right, exactly-
i DO know that i'm excited to do it, regardless.
if i can make it without real wheat flour, and still make it expert,
then really,
i'm just getting even more proficient at what i do in my spare time, aren't i?
and in no way is that a bad idea, especially considering that being better is sort of my thing.
for realsies.
you want a recipe?
i got you, neighbors-
preheat your oven to 360℉
in you upstanding uprighteous mixer, with the cake paddle in place,
cream together:
1 stick (8 T) vegan butts;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp vanilla;
1 cup brown sugar;
3 T vegan creamchee';
1/3 cup cocoa;
1 tsp xantham gum;
1 cup mama's almond meal flour blend;
1 cup bob's 1:1 dry-A* rice blend gf flour;
1/4 cup tapioca flour;
3 T chick pea flour;
2 T egg replacer;
1 T baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
3/4 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk.
whisk that into a frenzy, friends,
and spread it evenly into a parchment-lined 9" cast iron pan.
that's right, we're doing a thing over here.
on top of the batter, distirbute 1/4 cup chocolate chips to pretty it up.
that's so it's exxxtra nice. and also, so it tastes better, and also so it looks cute!
bake it for 40 minutes,
and let it cool completely before removing it from the iron...
for the drizzles on top, i went fat AF.
i did.
1/4 cup chocolate chips;
1 T cocoa;
2 tsp raw white cacao butter;
2 T non-dairy milk-
melted in a single pot, on low heat, and stirred into a solution-
it should look slippery from all that exxxtra cacao butteriness.
that's good.
i poked a hole in a plastic sandwich storage bag, and dripped it all over the top.
should i have waited a bit?
i burnt the sh!t out of my hands with that lave-like chocolate emulsion, man.
but, then i shaved up some baker's chocolate all over the top with my trsuty microplane,
and the sprankles turned it up to eleven, for sure.
the first of the month gets treats, kids.
that's how we do it.
funny how a little dusty chocolate on top can transform something good into something great.
i like that.
i have the technology to greaten a lotta things with grated chocolate,
and i think i'm gonna.
school's in session.
harvest is moved-in at UMass!
maple is a F*ing senior in high school.
they're SO big.
they're SO grown.
i'm SO old.
and yet i don't feel aged yet by a damned sight, man.
all of my pride and joy at those two talented terrifics has me keeping it spritely and spry, guys.
the addition of actually young children into my life doesn't allow me time to be tired and terrible.
i'm too dang busy to crumble into elderly dust.
i've got things to do.
i've got people to interact with,
i've got children to tend to,
i've got more to do than the hours in the day allow,
and i'm over here blogging?!
that's enough of that for now, friends.
i'll catch you when i catch you-
never quiet, never soft.....

No comments: