JELLY?

jellyfish!

yup.

i live tattooing a jellyfish.

and each time i do one, they get a baby bit better than the last time.

jell'ous?

ha!

jordyn has a full back of tattoo magic now-

this was the last puzzle piece to fit in, on her shoulder-

and that's a big deal-

we did seven sittings total, 

and she had maybe four tattoos already on there,

so all told, she sat like a rock, took her lumps, and now she's all done!

we did it, and that's pretty freakin' cool.

AMPERSAND TATTOO is where the drawn-on hottness happens,

and where the conversation is as eclectic as the myriad artistic styles we create.

if you're dumb, or boring, go somewhere else-

but if you're a competent and capable appreciator of expertism,

we'll find you some time on the schedule to make a few dreams come true;

never quiet, never soft.....

MANLY MAN-DALA!

too many lines,
soooo many dots,
blacks, greys, hexagons, triangles, diamonds, and starbursts.
that's how i'd describe my day with bill.
he got a lot of first tattoo,
and my hands kinda hurt about it:

WORD.
it isn't just triceratops and skulls around here, bro.
AMPERSAND TATTOO is where alllll the hot fire gets cooked up.
the most kinds of art.
the most kinds of tattoos.
the most kinds of conversation,.
the most kinds of seltzer, boi.
too much is the right amount,
and that's what we're about;
never quiet, never soft.....

BERFDAYS

i like these girls, y'know?
so i did a thing, and it was just part of a berfday night out.
we had thai food at a spot that was positively smoked out with kitchen fire grease.
and we got coffees to wake the eff up for all the food and funtimes, too.
so, there was tattooing and thai, coffee and cake and love and laughs
and dark nighttime sunroom camp-outs.
yeah.
rearranging the cushions and pillows and tables in the long, strong sunshine room
for a summertime skyline sleepover was F*ing expert.
and that cake was really good, neighbors.
gluten-free, and vegan, and chocolate.
all good things.
check it:

YES!
now, it isn't her real birthday until tomorrow, so this is just the first cake,.
there'll be another one, too.
but it's soft and sweet and deep and dark and dope,
and i like all of that.
i kept it single layer, and frosted it like the moon.
cake is cool and all, but we don't need to run around getting all full
before bedtime with sugar and chocolate and whatever-
so keeping it simple is the key.
the recipe?
easyish.
here you go:
-
* 
GFVCHOCOCAKE!
-
preheat your oven to 350℉
-
grease a 9" springform pan;
-
in your upright mixer with the whisk affixed, cream up:
1 cup sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
1/3 cup brown sugar;
2 ts vanilla;
1 stick ( 8 T) softened vegan butter.
whisk in:
1/2 cup non-dairy yogurt;
2 T vegan sour creme;
1/3 cup cacao-
combine that all into a soft frothy mush,
then add:
1 cup bob's all purple gf flour;
1/2 cup bob's 1:1 gf flour;
1 cup mama's gf almond flour blend;
2 T tapioca flour;
1 tsp ea. baking soda and powder;
1 cup non-dairy milk.
-
whip it up, spread it evenly into that springy pan, and bake it for 40 minutes or so,
until a tester comes out clean from the center.
let it cool completely,
which does take longer with dense moist glutenless baked goods...
and then frost it up.
-
frosting is basically 3 cups of flour, 1 stick of vegan butter, 1/3 cup s'milk,
and whatever else you plan on adding-
i had 3 T of ground coconut in this one-
and i added cacao of course, to make it extra good.
plus, raw cacao sprankles on top to turn it up to eleven.
-
i am grateful to know this woman.
i'm grateful for the time and the talks and the touches,
and the laughs and the debates and the intricacies of our interpersonal connection
and the mundane and magical moments we share.
she's the most like me i've ever encountered in another person.
i like it.
it's enlightening and frightening and exciting,
and i'm lucky and i'm better for the experience.
it's almost birthday time, and i'm excited to be part of it.
it's all really happening, and my heart is happy about it;
never quiet, never soft.....

JULY PARTY!

grilled pizza and pasta salad.
no.
really.
not at the same time, but in a row.
uh-huh.
that's good for you.
pasta salad is the most summery of summertime things to me,
and you know i made two kinds, too.

yup.
gluten-full rainbow squiggler jauns,
AND gluten-free brown-rice yummers for my breezy lady.
we got red, orange, yellow, and green peppers,
red onion, cucumber, baby grape tomatoes, and chick peas all up in it to win it.
and this version has some fancy expensive organic italian dressing
all over it to slip and slide it full of molto delicious flavor, bro.
that's real.
if you don't eff with pasta salad, you're effed up, and that's a fact.
mmmmm.
i love it, and i look forward to summertime specifically because of it.
ha.
i'm serious.
*
and what's better than pizza?
nothing.
not once. not ever.
grilled pizza, with open flames and high heat and woodsmoke
and outdoor summertime sunshine power?
c'mon, neighbors-
if you need some happiness in your life.....
...maybe what you really need is pizza on the grill.
hey. just consider it; it might actually be true.
wood and charcoal and iron grates and great times.
that's phase two of the fourth of july.
phase one was sweating and playing with all those kids outside.
then the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress woodshed got raided
for some fresh-split kindling to burn hot and bright on the raised coal bed
of my elite luxury handfire grill.
that's expert.
and the pizzas were too.
check the fireworkin' teleport:

WOOOOOOOOO!!!
and another:

YEAHHHHH!!!!!
too much is the right amount, right?
right!
the cashew chee' was perfect:
-
*
CASHEWMOZZ'!
-
in a high-speed blender, combine:
1 cup + 2 T boiling water;
1/4 tsp sea salt;
1/4 tsp GPOP;
3 T tapioca;
2 T lemon juice;
1 cup raw cashews;
2 T nootch.
pulse it until totally uniformly blended,
then transfer it to a small non-stick pot to thicken over medium high heat.,
stirring a LOT.
that's essential.
how easy is that?
when it pulls away clean from the sides, it's done.
and a few scooples of it on a pizza is tiiiiiiight.
-
so, you HAVE to grill the dough  first, before you dress your pizzas.
rules is rules,
otherwise it doesn't work at all.
so,
make a stiff dough, bro.
so you can scorch and sear and firm it up without it oozing between the grates.
-
*
TWOZZA DOUGH!
-
this'll make a couple pies, guys.
in your stand-mixer, as always, with the hook on it, combine:
2 3/4 cups king arthur flour;
1 T sea salt;
3 T olive oil;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;
1 tsp bread machine yeast;
1 tsp sugar;
1 tsp wheat gluten;
1 1/4 cup warm water, + more as needed.
beat it up for 11 minutes, then let it rise for twenty or so.
punch it down, divide it, and dunk each in flour as you stretch 'em on the peel.
45 seconds per side is all you'll need over short flames
to season and prepare 'em for topping.
EASY!
-
and i grilled some tomatoes in one of those stainless baskets,
and i firesteamed a bunch of broccoli in foil, with oil salt and pepper,
and i caramelized some onions,
and i plucked garden fresh basil,
and there was fried garlic slices,
and rosemary sprigs,
and crushed tomatoes,
and olive oil,
and joy.
the joy of pizza outdoors and excellent.
that's my idea of a perfect display of freedom.
no animals got chopped up and burnt.
nobody had to have a bad time.
there was only competence and capability and pizza.
oh.
and pasta salad, too.
so simple, but so good.-
i didn't watch the fireworks.
i just don't wanna anymore.
i did do a bunch of exercise, and watch the flash on netflix, though.
that was better.
dang, dudes-
i used to be an adventurer.
and now i'm pretty much just a heavy-handed hard-style hermit,
but that's just fine with me;
never quiet, never soft.....

4TH!!!

hey neighbors, i bet there'll be some fireworks later-

i mean, really, man.
you need a tattoo today?!
go get a sunburn while you're on a boat.
be excited about the country you live in that you've never been out of.
or the town you live in that you've never been out of.
or the house you live in that you've never been out of.
outside there'll be rockets red glares and bombs bursting in the air,
and tank-topped flag-wavers congregating to stare upwards.
this is america.
don't get caught slippin', bruh;
never quiet, never soft.....

AVOCADO!

dudes,
it's just toast......but better.
yeah.
i mean, c'mon- avocado toast is good stuff,
and if you have a LOT of avocado?
well, then you're probably having a good time, y'know?
mmhmm.
look:

homemade sourdough toast!
mashed ripe avocado!
cilantro leaves.
fire-roasted tomato flakes.
crawnchy radishes.
thin-sliced purple carrot.
blackened halved baby sweet grape tomatoes.
and agave-glazed pepitas...
when you can combine that many tasty things it'll always be expert.
the bread is what makes it really great.
that's real.
good bread makes better people,
and it certainly makes or breaks an epic breakfast snack too.
if you're the kind of person who eats things with your mouth?
you should probably try some of this.
it's basically made to go in there;
never quiet, never soft.....

SWT!

sick.
wolf.
tat.

that's right;
NQNS.....

BLOOBZ!

gluten-free vegan blueberry muffins.
you want a story about all the fun i had yesterday?
how about a tale of quesadillas and bell peppers?
store dumplings and crochet blankets?
well, sorry, bro.
the big news is the muffins.
y'feel me?
check the teleport:

blueberry muffins are the best muffins.
real talk.
and with raw sugar sprankles and little oaty bits on top?
c'mon.
that's expert.
wanna make some for the people in your life who don't eat wheat?
alright.
-
*
BLUEBERRY JAUNS!
-
preheat your oven to 350℉
-
in a mixin' bowl, cream up:
1 cup sugar;
1 stick ( 8 T ) vegan butter;
2 tsp vanilla.
add in, and stir up:
3 T vegan sour creme;
3 T plain unsweetened coconut yogurt.
add in:
2 T tapioca flour;
1 tsp ea baking kapowder and soda;
1 cup bob's ap baking flour;
1/2 cup bob's 1:1 flour;
1 cup mama's almond flour;
1 cup frozen wild maine blueberries;
1 cup non-dairy milk.
combine all that, and stir it gently to fold in all the blueberries.
grease a muffin tin, and add in all the stuff, one scoople at a time.
i feel like you shouldn't need to be told that,
but i also don't know if you'd do it right.
so now you know.
add a pinch of oats and sugar to each top and bake 'em for thirty minutes.
that's it.
firm, soft, warm, sweet, berry-magical little breakfast bombs for your face.
that's all you need, nerds;
never quiet, never soft.....

RULES...

everybody knows you make cinnamon buns on the first.
rules is rules.
look:

DOPE, right?
i know.
here's the recipe-
-
*
CINNAMONKEYS!
-
preheat the oven to 375℉
-
in a small saucepot, on low heat, combine:
4 T vegan butter;
1 cup non-dairy milk;
2 tsp vanilla;
until melted...
allow it to cool a little baby bit- warm is cool, hot is baddddd.
-
in your upright stand-mixer, dough-hooked and ready, combine:
3 cups flour;
1/2 tsp sea salt;
1/2 tsp wheat gluten;
1/4 cup sugar;
1/2 tsp cinnamon;
1 pkg fast-actin' yeast;
and that milky butter stuff.......
knead it up for 11 minutes.
you want that sturdy, shiny dough ball-
let it rise for 15 minutes.
-
roll it out, on a floured surface, into a rectangle,
and spread some cinnamon sugary filling from the long edge to both short edges,
and leave an inch margin on the last long edge,
to seal it shut when you roll the whole thing into a spiral log.
hmm?
what's the filling?
really?
i do this once a month, cmon.
ok, okay, OKAY-
1 cup brown sugar;
1 tsp cinnamon;
1/4 tsp nutmeg;
1 tsp vanilla;
6 T vegan butter.
all smooshed together, and spread out so smoothly.
-
cut your rolled up buns into 12 pieces,
and arrange them in a BIG cast iron pan,
with parchment spread in there for the easiest clean up.
that's all.
bake it for 33 minutes of so, maybe a little longer
if you want that extra-bubbly sugary caramel hottness...
and then you ice 'em up-
powdered sugar and vanilla and s'milk-
but, i did DOUBLE drizzle, too, dudes.
the second one was thinner, and drippier, and full of MORE cinnamon.
mmhmmmmmmmmm.
that's the thing we do around here.
you know it.
i know it.
everybody knows it.
i had half the pan.
i didn't need to, but i wanted to, so i did.
too much is the right amount.
that's the way we start the month;
never quiet, never soft.....

THIS ONE!

when john comes to town, he gets cooler tattoos than you.
i'm sorry, but it's the truth.
he literally sits down and says, do whatever comes to mind....
and a lotta tattooers would ask for direction,
or try to do some classy japan tattz,
or something from their sketchbook-
not me, neighbors.
i don;t even have a sketchbook.
but i do have one heck of a list of wanna-do's,
and i also have a marker or three,
and a bunch of creativity backed up,
which i don't normally need when i'm bammin' out those day-to-day
mortgage-payin' money tattz, y'feel me?
so when i CAN do the real sh!t?
the stuff that makes me LOOOOVE tattooing?
you KNOW i'm taking one-hunna-percent advantage of the situation.
that's f'really real.
this time, i did my favorite dinosaur,
dressed for vacationing in the place i understand the least:

a triceratops wearing tricera-crocs a la lake winnepesaukee second-homeowner.
hahahahhahahhhhhaaaaaha.
F* yeah!
stop getting pinterest tattoos.
you're better than that, aren't you?
right?
i think so.
get some fun tattz.
get some wild sh!t.
get into the big action and make everybody happier.
i believe in you.
i believe in me.
i believe in us.
i got you, boo-boo,
now get your butt over to AMPERSAND TATTOO
and skip the line by getting a tattoo that your artist actually likes.
everybody wins here;
never quiet, never soft.....

RRRABBIT! RRRRABBIT!!

yeah, i said it-
obviously, if there are magic words that you must say at the beginning of the month,
you'd best believe i'm gonna do exactly that.
right?
rules is rules, after all.
and when you know 'em, you might wanna follow 'em-
especially if they're there to summon spirit and memory and fortune
and fresh-to-death favorable outcomes.
y'know?
that's right.
so i said the thing, first thing, straight from opened eyes to opened mouth.
that's how you do it, if you plan to do it.
and out into the aether erupted the sacred syllables:
rabbit! rabbit!!
yuuuuuup.
...and now the whole damned month is gonna be molto expert.
that's how that works.
and when i said bye bye to june, i did it with six tattoos-
uh-huh.
but before all of that, i made some crissspy waffles.
mmhmm.
check 'em out:

WAFFLES ARE TIIIIIGHT!
and when you 100% overdo it?
when the whole shootin' match goes to eleven?
then you know you're dope, and your morning is dope,
and your whole life might get a baby bit better because of it.
f'realsies.
real maple syrup? ✔
blueberry-raspberry compote? ✔
coconut whipped cream? ✔
vanilla non-dairy ice cream? ✔
kapowdered sugary sprankles??! ✔✔
too much is the right amount, and if you aren't committed to that,
we aren't having brekkie together, bro.
so, whaddya need?
recipes?
ok.
-
*
COMPOTENT!
-
in a small sauce pot, on medium heat, combine:
1/4 cup powdered sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
1/4 tsp lemon zest;
1/4 tsp lemon extract;
1 cup wild maine blueberries;
1/2 cup frozen raspberries...
get that all liquidy and wet and soft,
then remove 3 t of liquid, add 2 tsp organic non-GMO cornstarch,
whisk,
add in, and turn up the heat.
uh-huh.
stir the whole thing until it thickens, quickle, then get ready to have your face
explode with joy at the full bodied textural triumph of this stuff.
that's no joke.
*
and the waffs themeselves?
easy:
-
*
WAFFZ!
-
heat up your waffle iron.
-
in a mixing bowl,
combine:
2/3 cup king arthur ap flour;
1/4 tsp salt;
1/2 cup oat flour;
3 T ground unsweetened coconut;
1 tsp ea baking soda and powder;
3 T sugar;
3 T melted vegan butter;
1/4 cup vegan sour creme;
1 cup plus 2 T non-dairy ilk;
2 tsp vanilla.
stir it up, rest it for fifteen minutes or more,
then let the iron do it's job.
i told you already- it's easy.
-
and now it's july.
today is the day.
i got cinnamon buns in the oven,
i got the calendar page flipped,
i have all the positive mental attitude i can muster up.
july is the start of for really real sunmmertime.
this is it.
and it's one of the better months, tbh.
i can only think of like, two people who are from july who are awful.
almost everybody else is pretty cool when they're a julyer.
y'know?
i think that's a rule.
and i do love a good rule;
never quiet, never soft.....