COCONUT

i also made a cake with coconut everywhere.
i like coconut a lot, and i didn't make it for you, man.
it's rich af,
it';s soft, it's thick, it's decadent.
it has all the flavor you could ask for, if you're asking for coconut flavor.
and i am.
so i made what i wanted.
mostly because i couldn't sleep.
why?
because i was carrying crabtree and hurt myself.
now, he's on medicine to feel much better.
better enough, in fact, to resume being a disobedient battle beast,
and for my concern, all i got was a sore lower back and limited mobility.
sweet.
so, with these deep dark bags beneath my beady little maple-colored eyes,
i blearily and blurrily beat up some brown sugar and stuff,
and made a cake real quick to bury a few hard feelings beneath.
look:

CAKE WITH COCONUT EVERYTHING!
that's what i wanted and that's what i got.
the recipe?
here:
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*
COCONUT THING
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preheat the oven to 350℉
-
grease a 9" springform single layer pan
-
in a medium mixing bowl, combine:
2/3 cup sugar;
1/2 cup brown sugar;
1 stick (8T) vegan butter;
1/2 cup unsweetened medium flake coconut;
1/2 tsp salt;
1 tsp vanilla.
cream together, then stir in:
1/2 cup vanilla non-dairy coconut yogurt;
2 cups king arthur all-purpose flour;
1/2 cup coconut flour;
2 tsp baking powder;
1 tsp baking soda;
1 cup coconut/almond milk.
stir well, then spoon evenly into the pan,
and cover with 1/4 cup unsweetened dry flake coconut.
do NOT use the gross bag coconut that feels chewy.
that's what poor people do.
it's not invited.
bake that for 40 minutes or until a tester comes away clean from the center.
when it's cooled and no longer a steamy dream of warmth,
make some coconut frosting, too.
that's 3 T vegan buttter;
1 T vegan creamchee';
1 tsp vanilla;
1 3/4 cups powdered sugar;
1/4 cup non-dairy milk;
3 T fresh finely-ground flake coconut,
all whisked until fluffy.
-
and that's it.
cake.
just because.
*
ANYway,
i still HATE NO-vember.
it's the worst one, and it's proving itself as the least expert month as usual.
did all the no-show bummers all emerge this week?
yes.
how about the cranky indignant no-shows?
also yes.
and the bigoted bummery bam-bam harvesters?
on their way, i'm positive.
when you're feeling low, (and in my case, lingeringly unwell)
there's nothing like tattooing to make it SO much worse.
for every elite idea,
there's a bottom-dwelling butthole who wants MORE time and MORE energy
for far far fewer rewards as a result.
can't wait for three more weeks of this.
am i complaining?
i am.
why?
because the imbalance between the best job ever,
and the worst days in a row is extreme,
and it all really happens in the exact same place.
so, there's a see-saw flip-flop of fresh-to-death and pray-for-your-death
occurring in the precise same headspace and literal physical space.
if you think that's cool, you're an A*-hole.
so, assess, and reassess, man;
neverquietneversoft.....