COLD FOREVER

today has not started by going to eleven.
nope.
in fact,
it's only 10℉.
....and it's windy as hell, which makes the lack of degrees feel even worse.
hmm?
oh, i know, i'm always cold,
but right now, it's actually well below freezing everywhere.
and that wind, bro.
seriously, i hate it.
maybe if i was a sailor, i'd be psyched, but since i'm landbound
and in the woods, it sucks the hardest.
it's so cold that this damned dog is taking it easy indoors,
instead of being a real bastardhole about being outside misbehaving.
and when we DO go outside?
he's got a snowbaby outfit to help his chilly short-haired dumb head.

awwwww, s'kyoooot.
i can't wait to get outside and freeze my face off while he poops on some snow.
it's so cold i kept extra sleeping clothes on, under extra blankets.
mmhmm.
i run cold, man.
i already told you that.
i just don't think you really get it.
i'm arctic on the inside, and it only gets colder every day,
and so do i.
do i wanna be hot?
no.
i wanna be warm.
that's all.
and it takes a billion degrees to get me there.
i'm about to get mummified in a hundred layers,
and move even stiffer than i already feel.
is that cool?
it does't look cool.
i'll accept that.
i fell asleep super early, both from the deepest dark and all the blankets,
but naturally i woke up in the dead center of the night for hours.
and when i finally got up outta bed, in the same deep dark,
i navigated by candlelight.
no.
not for ambiance.
huh?
no, the power was still on.
for added warmth.
ten candles throw more heat than a lightbulb, buddy.
i'm not even kidding.
i'm F*ing freezing.
i wanted to have a full moon fire outside.
instead, i had a full linen closet of blankets on my body.
ha.
i'm just not enough person to hold onto any heat, or anything else for that matter.
so,
i'm cold.
colder than cold.
the coldest.
and it's only mid-november!!
man, life is a real wild ride, and i'd better summon up some savage
stormswept viking tolerances to this weather,
or i'm gonna get frozen solid mid-complaint.
i s'pose today is as good a day as any other to start;
never quiet, never soft.....