PRETZ

these weren't even that good.

bummer.
i didn't use a recipe.
i didn't measure sh!t.
i DID toast the sesame seed sprankles.
those were good at least.
i boiled 'em in baking soda and salt laced water,
i baked them at 420 degrees.
i did the right things, but i did them wrong somehow.
that's a recurring theme.
not great pretzels make the morning kind of effed up.
for real- i reallllllly like pretzels, so thinking i had it nailed,
and totally NOT getting 'em right sort of derailed my morning.
no, it's fine.
that's what you get.
y'know?
you don't wanna use a recipe or measure anything and it doesn't work?
that's. what. you. get.
you wanna be a vegan A*-hole about holidays and nobody is happy with you?
that's. what. you. get.
guys,
i'm not a victim.
i'm just getting what i deserve.
be however you wanna be.
do whatever you wanna do.
but when the consequences come through, understand one thing:
THAT'S. WHAT. YOU. GET.
...at least it also snowed yesterday.
that's awesome.
did i get a snowblower yet?
i didn't.
did i sign up for snowplowing like i used to?
also, NO.
those muh-fuh'rs didn't do a good job even one time,
or a even a timely bad job, either.
late and terrible?
who do they think they are?
me?
hahaha.
awwwwwww.
but mid-november snow?
c'mon, duders.
is that lame?
F* yes.
look- if it isn't a hard style or the wrenchiest choice available,
i just ain't with it.
so it's fine.
i'm freezing anyway,
why not add some ice to the mix?
that's fun.
at least i also ate a whole bunch of subpar pretzels.
so that's cool, too;
neverquietneversoft.....