SNOWBABY

and now there's snow everywhere.
i mean, i live in the northern mountains,
so it's not a huge surprise that it's extra cold and busted outside already.
did i rake any leaves before they got buried under that frosty waterblanket?
nope.
i didn't even mow my lawn before that.
nope.
i don't play outside, man.
and i don't worry much about curb appeal.
for real, my house has needed to be painted for a decade.
y'know why it hasn't been?
because a nice lawn or a sweet paint job don't feel important to me at all.
not one little teeny tiny bit.
even though in the long run, it has to have some positive effects.
i can't see that far into the future anymore.
and that's lame as hell, neighbors.
i mean it- i had plans on plans and plans,
and now i'm blurry-headed about tomorrow,
nevermind the equity that comes from the maintenance of a well-manicured property.
sh!t-
i didn't even get a F*ing snowblower yet.
...and it's snowing, bro.
yup.
it's a snow day, and anything could happen.....
but the main thing that absolutely has to?
snow removal, man.
yep.
i have to get it today, even though it's SO awful to even think about.
i wait and i wait and i wait, and events keep progressing without me.
that's the effect the last year has had on me.
the fear of doing it wrong keeps me from doing anything,
and that's also wrong, for sure.
so, i'll go get the wrong snowblower-
i'm woefully underinformed about machinery-
and blow snow and leaves and tall grass across
the expanse of the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress,
since i have all of that debris in abundance all over the yard.
-
it's weird to work hard on dinner,
which disappears in a shark-gluttonous feeding frenzy,
but to avoid the labor associated with yard work.
i just HATE it so much, and i always have.
i need all the money, to hire all the workers, to do all the things i never ever wanna do.
and when all the money shows up, i'll need it to also generate time,
and with that time,
i'll do anything besides tattooing and driving and being all alone.
i don't have a megamillion dollar idea,
and the skills i have are great for being a multi-thousandaire,
but not much more than that.
so, instead, snowblowin' feels like a mission to colonize mars.
and work seems like the best job ever for not-quite-as-much-as-i'd like.
am i complaining?
probably.
am i improving?
i dunno;
neverquietneversoft.....