berfday, berfday!

happy mutha-lickin'-flippin'-b!tchin' berfday, baby...
my lovely, talented, tasty, and terrific one,
my wifely sweet'un,
mrs. jess,
turns another year wiser, and better, today.
she's the best.
continuously amazing and exciting and excellent-
and still smokin' hot at thirty-one years old.
she's the berfday girl;
i am the champion.
everybody wins.
***********
and,
she gets a pink pile of treats today, too.
recognize, my ninjas:

yep.
sparkle-magical pinky parcels.
viking generosity meets princess couture.
we doo-doo that excessive indulgence-type sh!t up here.
that's word.
plus,
you like that back-lit broadway silhouette action, too, yeah?
and that bell jar?
you know that's fresh.
terrible terrariums can F* right off,
we run that victorian sweet spot situation up in here.
do we have plans, you ask?
what am i?
the world's biggest A*hole?
no 'ucking way, y'all.
we're having a posse of peoples head over to the T.H.E.
(that's the thompson house eatery, crackers)
for a five-star feast of local vegan vegetable shark-gluttony.
we'll definitely be seated in the back room, for sure.
-regular uppity honky-type duders cant hang out with this much
loud fresh hardness during mealtimes.
that's cool.
it just means more lightning-striking viking big action for us.
and afterwards,
there will be cake.
of course.
claudia, our 'roommate', (read as: my ma-in-law)
baked up a moist and majestic mountain of mounded magic.
i'll save you a slice if you think you can make it up here in time...
***********
there's a big ol' rural craft and concessions fair up here.
all weekend.
that means ten times the tourists,
ten times the traffic,
ten times the trials,
and ten times the tribulations.
we're not worried, kids.
be easy.
because ten times the turdtastic tremulous tripe
just can't hold a (birthday) candle up to what we're bringing to the table;
what have we got that they don't?
how about
eleven times the thunder, lightning, hot fire,
and furious Folk Life flavor?
yeah.
we got that.
winning is what we do best.
***********
holly is up here, already,
with foxon park sodas,
sweet claude's tofutti goodies,
and a boatload of 'on the road at 5a.m.' active participation.
for the official records, let me tell you guys:
our peoples also win.
and that's why they're our peoples.
-
my wife rocks it.
that's a fact.
party hats, noisemakers, and super-dopeness.
happy birthday times,
for my favoritest most bestest one;
never quiet, never soft.....