neither steak nor cheese.

oh my!
tuesday is in full mutha-flippin' effect.
and that's just what we needed.
did i tell you guys my father-in-law gave me a chainsaw?
yes. he did.
you know what that means, right?
hard sawstabatulating.
sawing, stabbing, spatula-flippin' fury.
saws are like my hands-
they have teeth.
and this one has a chain of bobotronic biters,
with which i'm dying to shred everything in sight.
-
so,
we've got this dead tree, yeah?
he's hanging out across the street,
full of holes from bugs and woodpeckers,
all barkless, hollowed-out, and busted-up.
i like 'im. a lot.
mostly,
because he just hangs out being dope,
and a little bit haunted-spooky, too.
and also, because with the fluctuating weather,
hot, then humid, then cool, then wet,
it's the perfect season for my special hot-sh!t situation.
you know the one, ninjas:

mushroom business!
c'mon.
a whole broadside of billowy bright white mushrooms.
that's my jammie-jam.
because it's good.
ifyou don't like mushrooms, well now,
you most probably are an A*hole.
the truth is a hard room to mush in.
***********
check the teleport-
my big rock is planted in a soil-socket.

upright and at full attention,
like a primordial sundial, or a tooth-
that's my main monolith, b!tchslappers.
now just envision some sweet 'n' sz'huan ivy underneath,
and all around the bottom parts.
...like elf pubes, duders.
wangus khan, kids.
that may be his sweet stoney name;
my pop-outtie poker,
protruding like a righteous raging one...
***********
oh,
it's finally clematis time, too.

yeah,
we got the vines and the trellises and all that crackery sh!t-
neighbors,
nature is winning the prize so hard.
flowers, and fungi, and feldspar.
we got all the hot hottness jauns keeping it real.
the garden center is calling my name,
trying to lure me in and stick me for my hard-won papers.
i'll go, anyway, and willingly fork over a debit,
subtracted from my movie checks in effect.
the secret rock spot in eaton, nh, is on the way home, too.
today is the day;
never quiet, never soft.....