conqueror.

i came (every day)
i saw (the same stuff every day)

i conquered (the shark-bellied hot fatness)
what whaaaaaat?!
yeah.
check this big action:just like yesterday's date.
10-10-10.
three perfect tens.
triple dimes, ninjas.
see how they even had special celebration foil wrappers?
...because i'm super-special.
you'll get to see just how special if you keep reading.
i promise.
fa-
la-
fel.
i doo-doo that wood-fired flatbread type business.
three more, right before the end of a whole week
of epic woodsly goodness.
and that makes twenty-eight.
F* all y'all.
i am the fattest and the most determined.
28 falafels down the hatch.
that's the most i've managed to munch to date.
and it's a pretty sizeable milestone, too.
a personal best- done and done;
NOW the fair is finished.
and,
my favorite falafel family kept it mad real, duders.
how real?
really real.
how special am i?
THIS special-
get your spacesuits ready,
because the teleport needs checking:

do you even know what that is?
heyyyyy-O!

it's like 4 kilos of that pure uncut sh!t.
uh-huh.
i'm on that cartel/escobar/cuban-linx type jauns.
two sweet bags of ground up gold.
unfried falafel!
oh baby, i like it raw.
now my freezer has little treats hiding out.
now i've got that all-the-way-live sh!t.
now you want to come over and visit, huh?
too bad, mutha-b!tch-bags!
it's mine all mine all mine.
***********
and columbus gets a day.
but i don't.
in fact,
i'll be at work,
like a jerk,
all g-darn dang day long.
gaytardedness, observed.
maybe i'll smoke a cigar and wear a gold crucifix.
y'know,
as a big, fat, stinky, ugly thank you to mr. cristobal colon.
lame.
there's some good news creepin' up, though.
three more days until my anniversary.
or birthday, really.
stay tuned for that slice of loose-leaf warrior poetry.
***********
the end of everyone else's long weekend
is the start of our regular one.
so today is my friday,
and it's friday i'm in love.
i'll miss my nightly routine of fried bean-balls,
and hopefully i'll not get the withdrawal shakes,
but i've got a whole brave new world to discover.
like a regular sailcloth pioneer.
all those duders were just vikings with lamer boats
and way gayer clothes.
my boat is a subaru,
and my clothes are turbo-gay.
i conquered my intestines,
i conquered the fairgrounds,
and now i'm going to conquer the whole woodsly realm.
today is the day.
especially today.
columbus, like ohio.
both not dope.
word;
never quiet, never soft.....