P.F.D. for you and me

beauty.
and the battle-beast.
you guys know what solomon's seal is?
i'm talking specifically in a non-old-testament sense here.
it's a plant,
and it's a good one.
i've got a spot that needed some hottness,
and i spied a patch of these duders and their tubers
protruding from the leafy loam across the way.
so i wheeled my barrow into the woods,
and dug up a whole plot of those mutha-b!tches.
transplants, y'all.
now i've got a semi-shaded shed spot,
filled full-on with sweet treats from nature.
thanks ma nature,
for providing the perennial bounty of this
up-here woodsly goodness.
*
the cold night air in these mountains is no joke.
and i'm not laughing.
neither are the field mice.
or the doormice.
or whatever other 'nother little F*holes
are scurrying, and scampering, and scooting,
and sneaking, and stealing, and skulking,
and in all other ways scritching around
all throughout my fortified Fortress.
infiltrators, kids.
i can't hang out with that.
they aren't invited, neighbors.
and there's not a whole lot i like less
than an unsolicited pop-over.
it's cool, though.
we make sure they don't stick around.
(that meansNO glue traps. mmm-hmmm)
the have-a-heart is slamming shut on the regular,
and we routinely relocate the little A*blasters
to points west, or north, or wherever,
miles away from here.
alive,
but without regard for how long.
hawks and owls gotta eat too, ninjas.
concentric circles, widening or tightening.
life circles an' that.
word.
*
now,
who wants to get into some old timey sh!t?
i doo-doo want to do that rural-type action....
i have to erect a woodshed.
who is gonna help me bake THAT bread?
huh?
not you?
nice.
well,
i'm lookin' for some strong-backed active participants.
i'm gettin' wood, suckas.
(that's so what she said)
and i'm ready.
now wheres my amish-type cats at?
c'mon.
that's manly (or burly woman) type action.
who's 'bout it?
erection, duders.
together.
now THAT's some freaky sh!t.
so,
who wants to get all sweaty with me?
i'm waiiiting;
never quiet, never soft.....