feel-awful falafel friday.

duders.

duders, duders, duders...
it's always an uphill climb towards greatness.
the acme,
the apex,
the pinnacle.
the tippity-top of the heap.
i mean it.
you know,
it's always a good idea to set realistic goals.
that way,
a feeling of accomplishment is never too far away.
a little hard work,
a little sweat and tears and elbow grease,
and then the big payoff.
now,
in career-minded folks,
that may exemplified by a promotion and a raise.
in berserker barbarian battle-beasts, however,
our goals are more concrete,
and even easier to attain.
the sweat and the tears are still mandatory,
but it's fryolator grease, and not the elbow variety,
that lubricates the gears of warrior poetry.
kids,
what i'm trying to say is:

promotion, ninjas.
fattest.
fullest.
hardest.
i doo-doo that chunky chickpea-type freaky falafel sh!t.
literally and figuratively.

seventeen falafels.

down the gullet of your favorite glutton.
bam-a-lama!
quicker than hurry-up even.
***********
today is the day.
again.
like most days, even.
but with the added incentive of being feel-awful falafel day.
to be fair,
it begins as feel-awesome falafel day,
but then gets kicked up that next notch.
y'know, to eleven.
or as it reads on the roadmap to ragnarok:
TOO FAR.
that's where we're taking it this evening.
beyond the borders of enjoyment,
past the point of good sense,
and over the line of weak-sauce sorcery,
and into the realm of lightning-striking vikings.
word.
***********
there's a sow in the hog barn, y'all.
no surprise there, really.
but what IS surprising/marginally disturbing
are the human boobs she's got dangling.
huh?
c'mon.
i wouldn't make that up.
i attempted pictures last night,
but she got all modest and rolled over.
i'm on it, though.
neighbors, i'm tellin' you;
out of ten possible teats,
only two have milk in 'em.
the top two.
a matched pair of bare-skinned mom-bombs.
it's horrifying.
and it's yet another 'nother reason i'll stay meat-free.
unwitting anthropomorphism?
gross.
vegetarian sensibility?
assured.
nightmares for weeks?
probably.
it's all really happening,
even if not much else is;
never quiet, never soft.....