socially secure.

huh?
duders,
i trekked my way across the thinner portion
of new hampshire's north country today.
i needed to reactivate some social security-type jauns.
for real.
i had to get a replacement i.d. card for some
fancy style proof of being me.
and that's some seriously weak sauce.
i mean,
if was the type of ninja to get busy robbing identities,
it wouldn't be of a broke, broken, busted,
and not THAT disgusting mutha-ucka like myself.
awwwwwww, c'mon.
yet,
i found myself the only barbarian battle-beast
waiting in line to fill out forms and present photographic
proof that i am exactly who i claim to be.
good news, neighbors,
it totally worked!
i've got a stamped and notarized and authorized set
of paperworkings that aver and avow that
mister albie rock
is a really real person, keeping it really real.
that is, i was verifiably born, and am currently existing
somewhere in the world of woodsly goodness an' that.
what a relief.
i thought maybe i was a fictional character,
or a delusion of extreme grandeur.
***********
how did i celebrate,
once i was done wasting hours of my weekend
working my way home to Folk Life & Liberty?
i got back into the car with the whole damn fam',
and headed south towards the down east expert area
where green elephants roam along their vegan ways.
yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.
brutal shark gluttony with a great big posse of pretty ladies.
like,
me and five crazy, hungry b!tches gettin' busy on some blops.
we SO doo-doo that.
and we rocked out pretty hard the whole way there,
and back again, to the pattony patterns of faith no more.
don't hate, suckas.
that soundtrack was just what the doctor ordered.
today was the day,
tomorrow is too.
full bellies and empty gas tanks,
and lots of gas, if you feel me;
never quiet, never soft.....