Saturday, April 27


nature wins, neighbors.
my rhododendron bonsai is ready to bust out and freak it off
with an afro of purple flowers all over it's tippy-top branchy bits.
i'm psyched.
container gardening is completely expert,
especially when it works like it's supposed to.
check these buds before they burst:
and that's not all that's poppin' in the Folk Life & Liberty Fortress, y'all.
the indoor dwarf peach tree has babies starting to sprout from her stamens.
check the fruit-swelling sexy time immaculate pregnancy teleport:
that's super dope, duders.
i mean it.
look again:
indoor fruits, kids.
we're fancy up here in the woodsly goodness.
and by we, i mean me, obviously.
i'm basically always all by myself in this great big burly bastion of barbarism
and horticultural botanic berserker business an' that..
oh, it's cool, you minky bleeding hearts;
you don't need to worry...
it's not like it's a new thing, after all.
back to the big action of sheltered self-pollinators-
i just need an apple tree or two to doo-doo the same sh!t with.
imagine it, ninjas-
pies from apples i grew myself inside the Fortress?!
supreme expertism.
in the meantime,
i'm training a very small flowering cherry sapling to get bonsai like a boss,
but it'll be a few more seasons before it's ready for the shallow pot promotion.
nature is exploding here,
weeks behind everywhere else,
but better than ever for the delay.
i'm watering sh!t,
and making it rain up in here;
but with a big sloshing can of hydrogen dioxide, folks.
take it easy.
another saturday where i span time doing responsible chores
and nurturing semi-rewarding adult activities that involve just me
and a bunch of living non-reciprocating oxygen exhaling green leafies.
i don't get it either,
but i've got it going on.
today is the day,
and all of this is really happening.
root balls and nutrient siphons and aphid spray and fertilizers.
pure sh!t, but in a good way;
never quiet, never soft.....

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