hugs.

neighbors,
i give the best hugs.
that's real.
like,
my ridiculous arms were made for it.
uh-huh.
superlong spaghetti-strands and manhole-cover-sized mitts
built specifically for wrapping and holding and squeezing.
i am absolutely as surprised as you are,
especially given the vast tracts of time where i shunned, shirked, avoided,
and circumnavigated any and all instances that called for physical contact.
i guess i must've been saving up or something,
because i'm enveloping ninjas in warm embraces on the regular.
for instance,
my very bestest homegirl, amanda, gets the lion's share all the time.
check the teleport:

c'mon.
what?
well, yeah, i know.
i do sorta look like a giant longshoreman/cat-burglar.
i never said i wasn't still ugly,
i'm just noting that my hug game now goes to eleven.
take it easy.
also note the expert left hand head cradle.
i doo-doo that securely-affixed firm-and-grabby activation.
it's like getting tangled up in a rubber skeleton factory.
awwwwwwwwww.
anyway,
do you think you're worthy of one of these snuggled-up body squeezes?
come on over.
i'll let you know for sure.
ooooooooh.
that's right.
don't get too excited, kids.
my arms may be able to wrap around you twice or more,
but that doesn't mean you've got the goods to get one.
that shouldn't prevent you from taking a shot, though.
you get to decide if you're a participant or a spectator.
i know you like to watch, you dirty birds,
but i assure you,
getting ensnared in a willowy spider-jumble of arms and legs and beards
feels much better than it looks.
close your eyes and open your arms.
***********
it's a beautiful friday morning at the onset of april, y'all.
anything could happen today,
and even stranger and less likely things could occur tonight.
there's no way to predict the secret universal plans is there?
(they are secret after all)
i don't normally like surprises,
but i didn't really get rad with hugs much in the beforetimes either.
ummmmmm.
yep.
we're on an adventure into the unknowable and unforseeable.
headlong and facefirst like a cannonball.....
....trying to float.
uh-oh.
sinking feelings and breath-holding ensue.
turning blue when i'm already feeling blue is what's up.
patience is it's own reward,
but that's whether or not you obtain it dead or alive.
dang.
hard styles;
never quiet, never soft.....