earth friendly.

duders,
i really like being an earthling.
at least, compared to the total number of other planets
that i've intrepidly explored, industriously pioneered, and/or inhabited.
yep.
earth is my favorite one, by default.
so,
on earth day,
i needed to get a little loveliness underway as a show of appreciation.
you know it, neighbors.
i stuck out my green thumb,
and started packing dirt into pots all over the place.
that's real.
i get the super-nice ones,
and i put super-nice ones in 'em.
double-super-nice?
yes, kids.
i'm only interested in doing things more beautifully.
fancy big leaf mini-orchids?
yeah!
teleport:

isn't she pretty?
i know.
and i got some dark-corner-type jauns too.
check the celebratory rootball activational teleport:

i don't know what this is called,
but i know it looks dope, grows fast, and lives in a super-sexy concrete pot.
low light plants are a must for the chambers of the Fortress that see little sunshine.
(i GOT they)
oxygenated airways get activated in even the shadiest spots, y'all.
breathe easier, friends-
i've got the plant situation covered.
i know you were worried, but you can take it easy, starting now.
you're welcome.
*
bonsai?
of course!
what do you mutha-lickers know about rhododendrons?
not much, huh?
well,
all you really need to know is that i snipped and clipped and dipped this one
into this expert shallow ceramic circle,
and hit it with that new hottness that makes it look especially rad:

yuuuuuuuuup.
that little F*er blooms, too.
flowers are on the schedule for magic bonsai-bowl participation.
am i excited?
duh.
of course i am.
if you aren't,
you might be an A*-hole.
just sayin'.
ultimately, it's your call.
*
earth day, kids,
also means that too many is just flipping right.
so if i rep earth day like a really real worthy warrior,
then there's no way i could be DONE doo-dooing that freaky gardener sh!t, right?
i said- rrrrright?
huh?
you don't believe me?
then shame on you, stoopidhead.
and you should also check yourself,
and the starship troopers space alien cactus monster teleport, too:

c'mon!
fancy pots and fancier spears of green leafy shards of skin-shredding spikes?
uh-huh.
we activate that sort of magic chlorophyll danger-zone business over here.
as far as i'm concerned, this one is especially elite.
look down on it from up on high:

so good.
concentric swords of sharp slicing slivers.
i'm 'bout it.
in fact,
i had my eye on this massive mama-jama for almost a month.
somehow,
i fought off my initial instincts of obsessive possession and collection for a bit.
but,
eventually, the definitive infinite wears down the very best of intentions,
and time yields itself to the victorious circles of eternal spirit.
yeah.
nature wins.
...and so do i,
because now i've got this sexy ninja in my bedroom.
*
spider plants are the only spiders i can hang out with.
now,
at any given time, i've got a countertop full of glasses and jars,
topped off with water,
and with a spider-baby sproutling sprog in each,
taking root in it's own personal bath of liquid nutrients.
eventually,
when the thin white veiny feelers fill out enough from the main body,
they get plopped inside their own dirty homes.
(i re-use all the pots i get from the plants i adopt, duders)

yesterday was the big day for some of those little guys!
they may become gifts for my peoples,
or they may become part of the horticultural landscape inside these halls.
it's too soon to tell, and it's not worth speculating on, either.
it's all really happening,
with little to no advance notice.
a berserker blitzkrieg of lightning-strike barbarian raiding is how each day unfolds.
every undone crease never ceases to surprise me.
i'm finding out what comes next in the immediate instant it shows up.
the big revealing debut is as much news to me as to everyone else.
it's a wild ride, my ninjas,
and i'm holding on tight (to a bag of dirt and a watering can).
today,
i re-pot my favorite indoor tree.
huh?
oh.
don't i know it?
wild riding never felt so tame;
never quiet, never soft.....