bits and pieces.

sophisticated?
i guess so, yo.
i mean-
based on the kinds of gifts i get,
we can reasonably deduce that i attend an image
of dapper dopeness and elite intricacy that warrants some
seriously sherlock holmesian hottness.
what?
oh.
you know.
i get that super-fancy unnecessary jauns that just oozes out-
it leaks luxury and alludes to licentiousness,
and it's other people who pick it all out.
unspoken and understood actual artisan good life gifts?
yes, yes, y'all.
that's expert.
check the teleport:

huh?
they get it,
i get it,
they get me it,
i got it.
y'got me?
gotcha.
***********
duders,
the woodsly goodness doesn't care.
i mean it.
fresh powdery snow on a long vacation weekend?
ma nature is obviously not giving a F*.
y'know?
this whole northern mountain valley has quadrupled
in population and congestion and aggravation.
but just until wednesday.
the weak-sauce outta-town white people;
the ones who ruin all the idyllic rural charm of the area?
yeah.
they leave the same day my daughters do.
i'll be enjoying their rudimentary motor vehicle operation skills
ALL the way to asscrackachussetts.
awwwwwww, man!
ski bums, and drunktards, and ice climbers, and pub crawlers,
and discount after-christmas elderly deal shoppers,
and timesharers, and snowboarders, and fat families, OH MY!
they're all up here,
moving sooooo slowly,
rubbernecking each individual mote in every site-specific spot,
and generally smearing their sh!t-salad on every pristine surface.
they do what they do, neighbors,
so we can feel our self-assured smug superiority.
(and it's working like gangbusters)
without diapery nancy-babies,
experts would only seem like perfect tens,
and we're taking worthy warrior poetic participation and activation
to eleven.
c'mon.
that should be obvious by now.
*
okay,
so, i'm a little put out and grumpy about traffic and gaytards,
but it's not all bad up here, of course.
for instance, breakfast was superb.
check the teleport:

panniecakes, panniecakes, baker-man!
i doo-doo that griddle-browned burly lumberjacked jauns.
and we know about really real grade B maple syrup by now, yeah?
no?
pay attention.
it's the deepest darkest thickest richest most mapley of all the drizzles.
get some.
you can thank me later, right after your face explodes with ecstasy.
real talk.
we make the most of what we've got going on,
and we make the best of the worst of it.
...and we make pancakes, too.
the woodsly goodness stays good,
even when it's filled with the cookie-cuttingest sodapants.
after all,
we're here,
balancing the scales,
documenting real life,
and eating breakfast.
it's all really happening-
without the bitter the sweet's just not as sweet;
never quiet, never soft.....