jinx.

friday the thirteenth!
today is the day.
odd prime numbers,
and negative numbers registering
on the calendar and the thermometer
make me remember,
whilst shivering inside my house,
in all the layers of clothing i can comfortably pile on,
as the heat blasts full-force, to no measurable avail,
and my hot hot tea cools off on the counter
within moments of pouring it,
that today is un-F*ing-lucky.
jeeeeez.
it feels lame, this being up early, and all of this freezing.
i know the great white northern mountainous reaches
of new hampshire's woodsly goodness give no F*s at all.
like, AT ALL, at all......
but today still started off on a hard-styled, too-early,
wrong-bedside, limping left-footed deficit of hottness and heat.
awwwwww, man!
but,
y'know what IS making me feel fortunate though, neighbors?
seasonally appropriate XI-mas treats.
yuuuup.
check the good-luck-charming teleport:

peppermint chocolate creme pie?
duders,
there're crumbled up chocolate snap cookies,
AND ground graham crackers in that crust-
it was a must-do mash-up of mixed grains an' that.
it's also the best one yet.
by the way, friends,
all the mint oil and extracts i didn't have?
mmmhmmm.
it made my activation shift up a notch,
into expert adaptation mode.
that's a thing.
so many candy-type canes laid down their hooked forms
to allow this peppermint nightmare to live!
chocolate candy cane creme,
crushed candycane dusties on top,
and holiday-themed sprankles, too.
and just when we thought that was enough?
uh-huh.
peppermints mashed into the mutha-'ucking frosting too.
word.
too much is the right amount.
you can trust me on that.
***********
today is also the day i'm required to register my new car.
that should be fun.
the least-pleasant lady i've ever met is in charge of being pissed-off
directly at my face at the department of motor vehicles.
well,
actually,
c'mon now.
this is the rural woods an' that.
i register my car at the town hall,
at the tax collector's office,
next to the selectmen's office, by the police window.
uh-huh.
seriously,
it's all in one teeny-tiny spot.
city friends, you would loooove this quaint sh!t,
but the lady behind the counter makes it a real city dmv experience.
real talk.
vanity plates are in order.
why?
because i'm like that.
obvi.
what are my new custom narcissism jauns gonna say?
good question.
i guess we'll know by tonight.
it's all really happening,
mysteries and maladies and misappropriations and all;
never quiet, never soft.....