peanut butter!!!
cacao nibs!
chocolate chips!!
real mutha-effers crave these things,
and they orchestrate instances wherein they collide in a crescendo
of crucial textures, flavors, and sensations.
...and that's NO joke.
i'm pretty much all about chocolate and peanut butter,
and i'm relatively competent and capable when it comes to arranging circumstances
to get exactly what it is i'm hoping for.
in this instance,
that's a whole mess of chocolate and a healthy heap of peanut butter,
at the same time.
check the teleport:
C'MON!!
the new new pastryish dough was in effect-
more of a rustic galette style than a delicate flaky jaun, for sure.
with melted chocolate warmed up with creamy organic natural peanut butter,
and a touch of vanilla, and a splash of soymilk, and a scoop of powdered sugar,
the filling was on point as well.
then,
because rules is rules,
i activated some exxxtras on top.
chocolate leaves, AND chocolate chip sprankles
added a necessary decorative element-
i mean,
who the F* wants to eat ugly food?
lazies, unworthies, miserables, and doodoobabybuttfaces.
those're the sh!tbirds who get psyched on ugly food.
.....and they do NOT have a spot saved at the treats table, neighbors.
no way.
here;s what you ca do to make the things that make this into a thing.
follow?
good.
no?
well, just try our best to keep up:
-
*
CHOCO-LETTE DOUGH!
-
in a medium mixing bowl, cut together:
1 1/4 cup a,p, flour;
1/4 tsp salt;
3 T earth balance buterrish;
3 T tofutti vegan creamchee';
3 T cacao nibs;
1/4 cup light brown sugar;
1 tsp vanilla;
chop chop chop that int a coarsemeal mess with a pastry cutter or fork-
then, add in your favorite non-dairy milk,
1 T at a time, until the dough becomes jusssssst sticky enough
to self-adhere with minimal effort.
that's when you turn and fold and turn and fold a whole bunch,
to make layers of fat and flour that'll bake up exxxtra sexxxily.
word up.
rest it for a few in the fridge,
roll it on on a well-floured surface, cut it, shape it, add those accents, etc etc etc.
...you're going to want to bake it in the 400 degree range.
i did it for 20 minutes at 410℉, but you can do it however you'd like.
*
the interior was another matter.
it can get grainy, and sort of sucky, if you aren't careful.
hmm?
oh, i'm careful, man-
but that doesn't eliminate the need to be mindful of natural peanut butter's
temperamental infinite nature.
uh-huh.
oils and dry spots and textural inconsistencies that all want to creep into the melted chocolate,
and hide out, in lumps and clumps, that eff up the consistency of your middle.
that's real.
and that's why you add soymilk as an emulsifier.
mmhmmm.
do it like this:
-
*
CHOCO-P*NUT-BUTT BLOPS!!
-
in a small saucepot, melt:
1/2 cup chocolate chips;
1/2 cup organic natral peanut butter;
2 tsp vanilla;
3 T powdered sugar;
3 T soymilk, with more added as necessary, once the peanut butts get thiccc.
stir frequently once the chocolate melts, to incorporate any rogue elements in the mix.
this stuff is really tasty, but it wants to get firm in a hurry, so stay on it with the soymilk, bro.
that's how you keep it pliable.
you'll figure it out.
i believe in you.
***********
yes, i add sugary dusties, and chocolate lumps, and all that decorative delightfulness.
i mean, you know my style by now, don't you:
too much is the right amount.
i couldn't do less.
lately,
the only issue i have with MORE-ifying my life is the added hours of operation at work.
that's for realsies.
there's art to make,
there's cake to bake,
there's risks to take,
but first, the studio needs constant tending and attention.
......and we haven't even gotten the signs hung up yet, dudes.
hahahaha.
i mean it.
nobody even knows where we are!
i'm actually worried about when they do, too-
that's a genuine concern.
not about the level of busy-ness for the business,
but for the quality of the work.
i didn't skimp out not once on the design of the studio,
and i do NOT want to start taking shorts on the clientele now that we're open.
straight street skidmark squits are not overtly uninvited,
but the place is designed to be luxurious,
not some ordinary, everyday, average, run-of-the-mill mess.
so,
how do i keep the eliteness at eleven, and the exclusivity at a premium,
without being as rude and dismissive as all the ladies up the road?
no, for real, though.
i'm actually asking-
because,
for over a year now,
i have been the day-saving second choice of clients who receive the customary
cursory, perfunctory, curt refusal of their ideas up the street....
they're grateful, and i'm grateful, but it's not that great, if you get where i'm going here...
and while i enjoyed the cointelpro of hearts-and-minds being won by a comparative narrative,
i'm immeasurably more interested in accruing clients with genuinely good ideas,
rather than just snatching up castaways and cutouts.
hmmmm.
so,
i'm open to suggestions, although i almost never ever use them.
just sayin';
never quiet, never soft.....
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