CRAN-ORANGE SCONES!!

the classics, man.
i often disregard them.
like,
i almost never ever put orange zest in my scones,
despite that being kind of a thing, y'know?
yeah.
that's real.
and when you use cranberries AND orange?
well,
that's when you really hit on the good stuff.
mmhmmm.
breakfast is better when scones are in the zone, bro.
check the teleport:

Y'DONT NEED NUTHIN' ELSE!!
yeah!
a quick couple of oven-hot terrific triangles, and you're good to go-
like,
your day will assuredly be more amazing, by an order of magnitude,
than if you'd had some butt-nasty sucker-sh!t like eggs or whatever.
word up.
the big crystal sugar sprankles really turn the volume up on the flavor,
but honestly,
there's a 30% plot twist in there, too.
that's no joke, jerks-
spelt is singing backup on this track.
yum.
heirloom protowheat is my friend,
and we like to hang out on occasion.
tell you what-
i'll give you the details, and you can make some yourself if you'd like:
-
*
CRAN-ORANGE SPELT SCONES!!
-
preheat your oven to 400℉.
-
in medium mixing bowl, coarsely combine:
2 cups flour;
4 T tapioca flour;
1/4 tsp salt;
1/3 cup spelt flour;
4 T crystalized sugar;
4 T plant-based butts;
2 T vegan creamchee'.
when that's all sorts of crumbly,
add:
4 tsp fresh orange zest;
3/4 cup dried cranberries;
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce;
1/2 cup non-dairy milk + 1-2 T fresh-squeezed orange juice-
1/4 tsp orange extract;
1 tsp vanilla.
-
fold that, turn it, fold it again, and again and again,
and press the resultant dough on a floured surface, in a 3/4" thick rectangle,
and press MORE sugary spranks on top.,
cut it into a dozen wedges, and arrange them evenly on a baking tray-
-
freeze 'em for five minutes,
bake 'em for 20,
and enjoy them with a cup of tea or coffee, asap.
they've got FLAVOR,
and they're not too dry,
and the layers upon layers of buttery crisp-crusted moist luxury are instantly apparent
in each and every bite.
if you're a fan of being expert,
this is the stuff you're going to want to munch up on.
i mean it
***********
dudes,
we got pins.
or are they buttons?
i don't care if you call them bye-bye nubs, bruh.
the point is, we have them:

DOPE.
...and at just a buck each, you can get a whole lot of them,
for all your coats and purses,
and still have plenty of loot left over for a slice of pizza next door.
that's tight, neighbors.
there are four initial designs,
with MORE in the works.
and on top of that,
i'm pretty sure we're about to have MORE and MORE and MORE
and MORE merchandise arriving damned near daily.
believe it or not,
there's a plan in motion, to saturate the whole region with superlative sexxxiness,
on skin, on fabric, on non-porous surfaces, everywhere....
if you don't get down and around with collateral hottness,
you're F*ing up.
we've got treats on treats,
you may want to come get some,
but,
only if you're NOT an A*-hole;
never quiet, never soft.....