Tuesday, October 10


i made little pumpkin stuffs.
i mean,
it's october, bro.
rules is rules.
now that i'm not tied to sandwich-themed creation,
i knew i could really turn up the octoberism,
and get expert on some pumplestiltskin jauns for sure!
.......and that's exxxactly what i did.
check the teleport:

...that's a tough call.
these were produced with a muffiny intention,
their knobbly tops hid a very soft spongy center mass.....
and when the frosting showed up to the party?
things took a turn towards cupcake pretttttty hard.
they've got pie spice all up in 'em nicey-nicely,
and they're thiccc as heck, too.
they're also surprisingly fluffy.
on the ones,
they're sort of both, but kind of more of a cupcake with an ugly dome.
and i think that's fitting, really,
given the daily mantra i recite whenever i look in the mirror:
stay ugly, stay dope.
they may not have the sexxxiest faces,
but they DO have the sexxxiest taste.
that's real.
i'll happily share the process with you.
in fact, i'll do that right now:
preheat your oven to 350℉
in a medium-sized mixing bowl,
cream together:
1/2 cup light brown sugar;
8 T (1 stick) non-dairy butter;
1/3 cup raw sugar;
1/2 tsp salt;
2 tsp vanilla;
add in:
6 T pumpkin;
cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, allspice, and cloves;
6 T non-dairy yogurt;
- mix well-
and the fire up the dry ingredients:
2 1/4 cups flour;
2 tsp baking kapowder;
1 tsp bakey soda.
stir together, adding more pumpkin/yogurt, if necessary.
the batter should be thick, and heavy.
fill muffintins with cupcake papers 2/3 full,
and bake those baddies for 22-25 minutes.
remove 'em from the oven, then after a short spell on the counter,
remove them from the tins and cool 'em off completely.
i'll bet they'd have been simply terrific with raw sugar sprankles on top.
i mean,
they'd basically be elite muffins at that point, right?
simple, however, is for simpletons,
and we're smarty-pantses, aren't we?
i hope so.
and every smarty knows that too much is the right amount.
that's a fact.
and i do believe that to be the right course of action every time.
i hit 'em up with that re-whipped cinnamaplecreamchee' frosting,
and some colorcoordinated candy-cornelius-type sprankles, as well.
y'can't go wrong with fancy spranks, buddy.
that's the truth.
you want cinnamplecreamchee'?
i got you, b-
3 cups powdered sugar;
1 stick vegan butts;
1/2 tub tofutti creamchee',
vanilla; cinnamon,
1 T maple syrup;
1/2 tsp maple exxxtract.
whip whip whip it good, and you'll have no problems, man!
always make sure you're taking it to eleven.
anything less is just you cheating yourself,
and that's never been a good idea, has it?
no way.
do the thing right, until the thing is done.
that's how you make sure you're expert.
work work work work work.
i have a lot of that to do.
i may start my hallowe'en stuff, FINALLY.
today, however, i've got a whole mess of other other priorities on the list
that rank higher than my indulgent dress-up mess-ups.
it's all really happening,
and i'm going to need to move, think, talk, and act faster
if i want all of it to be as amazing as it should be.
i've got no time for fake ones, yo.
that's a thing;
never quiet, never soft.....

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